After my post the other day, I feel relieved. It feels like I’ve been holding back so much on this blog earlier, not being able to write. Been stuck. At the same time I haven’t been sure how to word things, been scared of putting it our here free for everyone to read. I haven’t known what to write about since some days are just filled with treatment, crappy moments, anxiety, panic attacks, and fear. Not that much fun to write about and probably not fun for you all to read. Even if I’m not gonna write that much about my sickness, the anorexic part of me (I’m trying to write the word more though so I get more used to it), I feel I can be more real or true to how things really are right now. Thanks to the post and all the responses I got!
It’s always harder at night. You know when the day has passed, all you’ve done is done for the day, and it’s you and the thoughts of the day left. Yes, I’m a big thinker. Specially at night. All the thoughts come down to a sort of summery of the day, at night. The only thing is that I’m always thinking of the crappy parts of the day, or the times where it was more tough. It’s so easy to forget the good moments. They exist too. The crappy thoughts then build up to a huge anxiety cloud hanging over me and that’s when I need to refocus. And that’s another hard one. To refocus in the middle of the crappy time when I’m feeling really bad. I’m therefore working hard on figuring out things to do so I can truly leave all the crappy thoughts behind. My strategy list so far is…
1. Write a note and put it in our “Happiness Jar”. It’s literally a jar where we every day write down one sentence each of something that has been good during the day. You can read more about it here. We are doing it every day during 2013 and on New Years Eve 2013, will read about our year that has passed and all the happy moments. It also help you to focus on all the positive things during the day right before you go to bed.
2. Have a good temperature in my bedroom. When I’m having anxiety, I get really warm, and need for it to be a bit cooler in the room. The crappy thing is that I can also freeze like crazy and need multiple blankets and a lot of clothes on. So it all depends on how bad the anxiety is if I’m cold or warm and what the room’s temperature is. The goal is for you to be satisfied and feeling comfortable.
3. Read if you can concentrate. Books are to much right now for me, but magazines are awesome! You get more tired when reading (at least I do!).
4. For those who have cats, let them lay down on your stomach, feel and/or hear them purr and rub them. It makes me more calm and I’ve heard you get more happy when rubbing you pet since the “happy hormone”, serotonin, will be released in your body while rubbing.
5. Listen to music that makes you feel good and calm.
So I’m gonna try some of these strategies now, Saturday night it is. Hope you all are doing good, and sleep good whenever your Saturday is coming to an end.