It’s Saturday morning. Something I used to enjoy, and still do sometimes, but this weekend is hard. Really tough to be honest. I feel like I’m being challenged way too much and too soon, than I’m ready for. I’m in fact home alone (well, Zola is here of course, which is actually pretty awesome, she’s such a good cat) this weekend since Liz is starting her new class, which you can read more about here on her blog. However, there’s no way I wanted her to skip this, and I’m so unbelievably happy and excited for my wife following her dream!
I tried to make some plans with some people this weekend. I truly tried, but haven’t heard from them anything more (yet), since last time I contacted them, so I take it as a sign that they have other plans – probably more fun than hanging out with me anyway, to be honest. If you happen to read this, don’t feel bad about it. Ok. I have also cancelled and rescheduled a few things this weekend, because I have no energy (or the eating disorder told me to…or it could perhaps be both reasons). One would think you get more energy with the food I’m eating at treatment, which I get, but the body is also working hard taking care of it, and therefore I get tired.
I just feel like a piece of shit right now to be honest and I don’t ever wish anyone to ever deal with an eating disorder because it’s hell and not a life to live at all. Yet, here I’m stuck again, in this monster. But I have a fantastic main contact nurse (thank goodness for her!!), a great day treatment group, and I’m lucky to be able to get this help right now in life. Now it’s “just” to take this fight every d*mn meal, every day, every week, every month…
That’s all for now. I don’t really have anything fun to add to this rather depressed post. Oh, I do have one thing! I’m gonna drink coffee with my wonderful cousin later on today, that’s making me smile, and warming my heart. Love and credit to her for wanting to be with me ♥.