I’m not gone, I’ve just been breathing through tough moments.

So it’s been a while since last time I gave you an update, and a lot has happened..

First of all:

I’m still connected or signed in at the hospital, but as a day patient. They were literally running out of beds and asked if I wanted to sleep at home and just spend the days there. Of course I wanted that, so a cab comes and pick me up every day before 8 am and drives me back home at 6pm. It’s pretty nice, except that I don’t really have my own space at the hospital during the days.

Secondly:

I’ve been to an interview at the eating disorder day treatment in the next city to my mine. It went ok BUT if I were to start there, I will be forced to eat meat; and since I’m a vegetarian and will not change that, I can’t participate. They said I need to start with fish and seafood and later on move on to also eat chicken. For those who don’t know me that well, I have truly never liked fish or seafood in my entire life, so there’s no way I would like to eat that when it’s also already hard to eat. The day treatment is also only three days per week where I need to make it with dinners and late snack at home all seven days. Today, when I’m a day patient at the hospital I,
1. Get to eat vegetarian food.
2. Have support ALL meals ALL seven days.

So I’m hopefully gonna be able to continue at the hospital and have my therapists coming there on a regular basis. After a while we can also start to plan permissions where I eat some meals at home instead.

Thirdly:

Of course, I got sick in my stomach and had to be signed out from the hospital (stupid process and I still don’t get why I just couldn’t get “permission”) and they told me to come back after 72 hours. Oh, well. So I need to go to the emergency room tomorrow and sign myself in again. I was really upset when they called and told me about it… but they have promised me that the sign in process won’t take several hours (as it usually does). The clinic will contact the emergency room and notify them in the morning that I’m coming, and it should just be a (hopefully) short formal process of signing papers. Still…it’s such a process for me, instead of just showing up at the clinic. But they needed my name out of their system during the weekend so they could sign in other patients instead. Sigh. Ok, enough of this.

It’s Sunday and the sun is shining. I might go out a little bit and get some fresh air after spending most of my days almost completely inside for the past month.