A person walked in to the same room where I was standing. I glimpsed first, turned my head away, and then directly turned it back again. I recognized her from somewhere. Another person walked in, and it was the same process. I was trying to place them somewhere in my memory lane. It took just a few seconds, but felt longer. I ended up recognizing the whole group of around fifteen people. I understood at that time they were all having an evening out together. And a reunion as well since I know some of them have stopped working…at the hospital…Yes, they were all nurses and care givers from the hospital where I was staying for several months. The same department, the same floor, the same rooms…Oh, my. Such a roller coaster feeling-wise when I saw them. But mainly, I just felt, thankfulness to all of them. They saved my life, and here I was standing, about to pay for my bowling session I just had have with my friends. They where all having their night out (at least in the beginning), at this bowling place and that’s where I was, celebrating a friend’s birthday. I freaked out in the beginning, and didn’t know what to do. They must have seen me, but because of their professionalism, I’m the one who must say hey first in order for them to say hey. I recognize them, and then they can say hello to me. I appreciated their professionalism, but deep inside of me, I actually wanted to say something which I didn’t at first and they all passed me. So I walked over to where they were all trying out their bowling shoes, saw my main contact nurse, and she saw me, hugged me, and we chatted some, while more and more of my old nurses came up and said hey, nice to see me and so on. They were all so sweet! Even though they represent the worst time in my life, I’m so thankful for what they did for me, and it felt pretty good seeing them. Crazy.
Even more crazy is, that I saw them, a part of my past, I’m doing things next week that will be representing my future, and will probably (and hopefully) also be more clear about some more stuff connected to my future. It felt like it was all meant to be. Just wished I had seen two more of the care givers…the ones I was with the most. I wanted to tell them more about everything. Not because I matter in their lives so much, but somehow it matters to me, showing them how much they have helped me to change myself, and how much I have changed in the past months, compared to this time last year.
I walked down memory lane by seeing all these people, but I’m not stuck. I processed it yesterday but also through this post now. I believe in the bright future. I’m not saying everything is totally good nowadays, I’m working hard on several things in my life and have my crappy days (as everybody has), but I believe in life, and want to live life. Just that thought will help keep me moving on.
A totally different subject (but connected to this blog post in some ways), I’m so curios who’s reading this blog. Some of you leave comments every now and then which means so much to me. Thank you. Although I wish I could hear some more from others as well. You see, I’m really curious as a person. I have statistics on how many views I have every day and it’s always more than I would think it would be. Sometimes, I’m writing pretty personal things, and have no idea who’s receiving all the information about myself. Pretty scary in some ways..but I have also therefore chosen to not write too personal things here. I also do not want to focus on only diseases, because I want my blog to focus on life, and positive things. Anyway. If you feel like it, and if you want to make me a little more happy this Sunday afternoon, leave a little greeting in this blog post so I can find out who else is reading this blog – and who’s patient enough to read this pretty long blog post. Hehe. Happy Sunday, I’m off to my sister’s to celebrate a delayed Christmas. Better late than never!