I haven’t really shared much about deep emotions, thoughts, and how things are. I usually don’t write a whole lot about it, either, on a regular basis; but I thought I could update you a little bit now, because things are changing in life.
I haven’t been myself at all lately. Or let’s say, since May I’ve felt I’ve lost myself more and more. It began with the shock of coming back to Sweden or perhaps the grief about have to leave something that I knew I would never exactly be able to come back to – the life I had in the States. Still, I was really, really excited about starting to work here in Sweden as a graphic designer – my dream job! I love LOVE my job and this is the hardest part to write down…I’m taking a break from work for a few months, taking care of myself, focusing on myself, and finding Lina again.
Health goes first, and how I live now is not good for me. It’s a bad spiral downward and it needs to be stopped now, before it gets too deep down. So, I will get professional help every day to support me in this. The hospital will be my second home. I’ll be there during the daytimes, for the next few months now; and for once and for all, the eating disorder sh*t will get kicked out and be forced to leave me alone. I hate this sickness and I miss Lina too. But she will come back, stronger than ever!