Choosing myself

September 16, 2015



I haven’t really shared much about deep emotions, thoughts, and how things are. I usually don’t write a whole lot about it, either, on a regular basis; but I thought I could update you a little bit now, because things are changing in life.

I haven’t been myself at all lately. Or let’s say, since May I’ve felt I’ve lost myself more and more. It began with the shock of coming back to Sweden or perhaps the grief about have to leave something that I knew I would never exactly be able to come back to – the life I had in the States. Still, I was really, really excited about starting to work here in Sweden as a graphic designer – my dream job! I love LOVE my job and this is the hardest part to write down…I’m taking a break from work for a few months, taking care of myself, focusing on myself, and finding Lina again.

Health goes first, and how I live now is not good for me. It’s a bad spiral downward and it needs to be stopped now, before it gets too deep down. So, I will get professional help every day to support me in this. The hospital will be my second home. I’ll be there during the daytimes, for the next few months now; and for once and for all, the eating disorder sh*t will get kicked out and be forced to leave me alone. I hate this sickness and I miss Lina too. But she will come back, stronger than ever!


  • Reply Nicole September 16, 2015 at 3:15 PM

    love you and thinking of you!!

    • Reply Lier September 16, 2015 at 3:59 PM

      Thank you <3

  • Reply Cicci September 16, 2015 at 10:43 PM

    Go Lina! Hejar på dig!

    • Reply Lier September 17, 2015 at 8:39 AM

      Tack fina du, och jag hejar på dig nu med övertiden!! <3

  • Reply Stephanie Ammerman September 17, 2015 at 8:36 PM

    Skickar en massa styrkekramar!!

    • Reply Lier September 18, 2015 at 8:44 AM

      Tack <3

  • Reply Lanie September 18, 2015 at 2:13 PM

    Lina im so sorry you’re going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you, girl.

    • Reply Lier September 18, 2015 at 6:05 PM

      Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, it means a lot to me <3

  • Reply Holly September 18, 2015 at 3:28 PM

    Oh Lina, I am so sad to read this, and your last sentences made me well up. I hope this time out from work helps you immensely, good luck with your further recovery my dear xxx

    • Reply Lier September 18, 2015 at 6:06 PM

      Thank you so much for your kind words and pep <3

  • Reply Paige September 18, 2015 at 5:08 PM

    I know that you’ve got this. I know how bad you want to kick this. I have never met a stronger person in my life and I am always here if you need support in any way! Lots of love, warm wishes and strength to you! I’m so proud of you for choosing you! <3

    • Reply Lier September 18, 2015 at 6:07 PM

      Thank you so much for your support and your kind words! It means so much to hear it <3

  • Reply Kathleen Smith September 18, 2015 at 6:32 PM

    Lina, I am at the opposite end of the eating spectrum. I have been a chronic overeater all of my life. Even as a diabetic, it has been hard to control the portions and the types of foods that I should be eaten. I love sweets! I am morbidly obese because of this way of life and I take more medications that I care to admit. Many, if not, most are related to co-morbidities, that is weight related health issues. I know this isn’t the same thing you’re going through, and I’m sure that you can’t imagine what I go through anymore than what you’re going through. We do have the eating disorder and health related issues in common though! I am finally starting to beat this monster that has taken over my life. It is an every day struggle and has required professional help too. I know you can win this battle! The fact that you are putting yourself first and acknowledging the problem is a great start! I’m very proud of you for doing this and I have full confidence in your abilities to overcome this. I’m so glad you have a great support system and Liz by your side. My support system is been a huge contributor to my become more successful. If you need another support person, feel free to reach out to me through email or on FB. I will be there for you anytime that I am available online. I want to see you succeed and live a much more carefree life. You can do it! Don’t forget to be gentle with yourself too. Much love, Kathleen

    • Reply Lier September 18, 2015 at 6:39 PM

      Thank you so much for sharing this, Kathleen! And I’m hoping that your sickness will continue being weaker and weaker so that life can come back to you as well. Keep fighting!!! Thanks for being here, for your kind and supporting words, and I’m here for you as well. I believe this is gonna be really good for me, and a chance, once and for all, for a better life where anorexia is not taking over again. Sending you a lot of thoughts, strength, and love your way. <3

  • Reply Gesine September 18, 2015 at 9:32 PM

    Lina! I think you are a strong and inspiring woman! Making this decision about taking your life back, it seems to be the first step to achieve your goal. I´m sending my best thoughts to you. xxx

    • Reply Lier September 19, 2015 at 9:17 AM

      Thank you so much for all your kind words and for sending your thoughts my way! Love <3

  • Reply Meghan September 19, 2015 at 4:18 AM

    Hi Lina, I read this morning on Liz’s blog about your returning to treatment and I’ve been thinking of you since. I hope you don’t mind me commenting, but I just wanted to tell you how amazingly strong I think you are and how much I admire the fact that even in the midst of dealing with your illness you are getting involved with a new hobby and sharing the things you love – music, design, etc. Your passion for life and your refusal to give up on what you love is inspiring. Best wishes on your path to better health. xoxo

    • Reply Lier September 19, 2015 at 9:21 AM

      Thank you so much for commenting – it’s makes me happy and thankful, so don’t hesitate doing that! I’m really trying doing things I love, to keep the little bit of Lina I have left and to not let the sickness to take over completely. That’s my biggest fear and I’m working hard on that part, so you noticing that and getting inspired by that, means a lot to me. Again, thank you for commenting and thank you for your wishes, it makes my heart warm. Love <3

  • Reply Carissa September 19, 2015 at 7:07 PM

    Lina, I’m so sorry to hear things have been going so badly, but I’m so proud of you for taking the steps you need to beat this disease once again. I know you can do it! I will be thinking of you! Kramar! <3

    • Reply Lier September 19, 2015 at 7:47 PM

      Thank you, Carissa! It means a lot! <3

  • Reply Aura Eadon September 20, 2015 at 10:21 AM

    You’re amazing and brave and strong. You can do this, no, you are already doing this and you’re healing. With love, support, and your passion for life anything and everything is possible. Sending positive vibes and thoughts to you.

    • Reply Lier September 20, 2015 at 1:54 PM

      Thank you so much for your positive vibes and amazing, kind words!! <3

  • Reply Julia September 21, 2015 at 12:01 AM

    Tänker på dig <3

    • Reply Lier September 21, 2015 at 7:41 AM

      Tack <3

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