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July 28th đŸ€

July 28, 2021

It was your due date today, July 28th and I have had so much anxiety and grief about this day for so long. We know she could have come earlier or later, but today is the day that we were counting down to. Ever since we decided to end the pregnancy, I have pretty much been crying every day at some point since January when we find out about how things were.

Some might think, or have even mistaken, it was a miscarriage. It wasn’t. We had to make the decision on our own, based on what all the tests showed and what the doctors said. It was horrible. We were also pretty far into the pregnancy which made it even worse to end it. It was a birth at the hospital, we held our Peanut and said goodbye to her, and she’s buried in Uppsala now.

This has been and is so hard to handle. All I see is other people being pregnant and having babies. I’m happy for their sake, but it hurts at the same time that we never got to experience it all. It’s also so hard to handle, hearing people talk about their children (which I understand they are and will continue doing and I have to learn to face it and deal with it – but right now I’m super extra sensitive and it’s tough to hear). Everything wasn’t ok with you, Peanut, and I have to keep reminding myself about that and not get stuck in thinking it wasn’t.

Even though I was physically feeling really bad while being pregnant and spent pretty much all of the time in bed/sofa, I miss it terribly and would do anything to be pregnant again. To think that we were three (or four with Zola the cat), to plan what your crib was gonna look and be like, discuss culture differences/similarities, how we wanted to raise you as an American and a Swede – share it all with you. You were gonna be an American and a Swede, have both passports to open up the world to you even more, if you wanted to explore it later on. We had decided to continue to speak English at home and with each other, since society and surroundings are all speaking Swedish. We had talked so much about everything and then it all just crashed.

Your were a tiny little human being who was gonna be named Sonja Ruth Reynolds Eriksson. We love you and forever will keep you in our hearts, little Sonja. đŸ€

It’s still pretty tough – a life update.

April 10, 2021

It’s been almost two months since my last post about our little Peanut, who we sadly had to say goodbye to on February 3rd. The days are moving on with a bunch of work (I have a new job since the beginning of December 2020 since I lost my other job due to the Covid-19 situation in the world back in August the same year) and also some major preparations. Not too long after February 3rd, Liz and I decided we needed a major change in our lives, a fresh new start, and a focus/project during spring as we’re facing a spring and summer far different than we first thought by not expecting a baby anymore.

I’m still crying pretty much every day over our dream that never happened. I’m still being reminded by various milestones, such as entering half way in pregnancy, earlier scheduled times with midwife, classes we were going to participate in, stuff we were going to purchase, preparations in the home we were going to do, and so forth. Not to mention all the strollers, pregnant women, and babies that are out there to see – in real life and on social media. I’m happy for their sake, but it still hurts in my heart and soul, and it’s still pretty hard to deal with to be honest. But it hasn’t been that long since we ended the pregnancy and I can’t be too hard on myself. I’m so thankful for having Liz in my life, the counselor we’re seeing together, and my therapist I’m seeing by myself. Also my amazing parents who are supporting me and keeping up with my freak outs of grief on a regular basis as well. It is what it is. I have to accept it, and try to move on in life even though I feel I don’t have the right to do that since Peanut never got the chance to do so. We don’t regret our decision and we know it was the best for all of us…still, of course, it hurts. So much.

As I wrote earlier, we’re doing some major changes and preparations in life right now. We’re moving this summer to Norrköping. The plan is to get our apartment up for sale in the beginning of May, and it will hopefully be sold by summer (fingers crossed). We’ve been fortunate with great luck and amazing timing to get hold of our almost dream apartment in downtown Norrköping. It’s bigger than the one we own now, has a huge balcony with a great view of the whole city, right in the middle of downtown so close to everything, and there is also some other great convenient stuff we want to have. It feels so good. We need this change. If you know or remember, we actually used to live in Norrköping back from 2010 to 2013. However, it was a pretty dark period in my life where I was really sick with anorexia, so we haven’t been able to really enjoy the city for real. We’re also going to be closer to more family and friends (although it’s really sad to have to leave some other family here in Uppsala – but we’ll come back and visit, for sure). I’m gonna be able to focus and do a lot of more music in my life, which I’m really looking forward to. Singing in a choir again and to taking private singing lessons, are already on my agenda and I’ve booked a voice coach. So exciting! I’m also gonna be able to still see my therapist since she’s also offering online sessions, and has a clinic in Stockholm as well, which I might go to on a regular basis.

As I mentioned earlier I’d gotten a new job back in December, and I was feeling really bad a day back a few weeks ago when I thought I was gonna have to give my notice..but my boss totally offered me to still keep it but to work from Norrköping instead. How perfect!! I love my new job, but my newest client (I work as a UX-designer consultant), is in Stockholm – therefore, it could be some trips to the big city whenever the pandemic is letting us, which isn’t too far from Norrköping.

So all in all. Things are moving on in the midst of the grieving process.

Peanut, you will never be forgotten đŸ€

February 14, 2021

Our journey to you started about two years ago. There were many visits to the hospital, tests to take, conversations to have, and a bunch of excitement. It was hopefully going to happen now, finally!

There were several bumps and roller coaster rides along the way but, in the beginning of November of 2020, it seemed to have worked!!! November 17th. The test day was here and IT WAS POSITIVE – WE WERE PREGNANT đŸ€ Our excitement was beyond words and we were flying on clouds of happiness.

Then the adventure of being pregnant started. I felt so nauseous and sick in a way that I could have never imagined. But it was all worth it, I thought. I ended up spending a little more than 3 months in bed or on the sofa (in some ways the pandemic “helped” us since I could work from home then). But, Liz had to take care of everything – from serving me the little I could eat, to cleaning the apartment, doing all the laundry, and she couldn’t even touch me because the touch/movement would make me puke. It was pretty bad, to say the least. But, the excitement kept us going. Peanut, our “working name” for the baby was worth everything đŸ€ 

We documented every week by taking pictures and videos.

January 19th, 2021
Mid January came and we (or I, Lina, since Liz was not allowed at the hospital due to the pandemic restrictions – she was fully healthy though) were going to check on Peanut and during the ultrasound we found out everything didn’t quite look ok. We got the worst possible result on the test with a 50/50 percent chance that Peanut wasn’t going to be healthy. The stats were 1:2. One out of 2 babies would be healthy. A 50/50 chance. Not good odds. We were devastated and we started to live in this weird fog of worries. The hospital booked us to do more tests just a couple of days later, and when the day came Liz was finally allowed to be part of it and was able to see Peanut for the first time. I had already been blessed to see Peanut two times at that point (week 8 and 13). Liz cried at how amazing Peanut was. I was nervous about the tests I/we were facing. But it was all beautiful, even though the reason for the tests were all a big chunk of worries.

The test results were going to be reported to us by phone, no matter the result – positive or negative, 2-3 days later (but it was Friday so we had to wait an additional two days). Those waiting days were some of the toughest days in my life. I could not think of anything else. I did not function (even more so with the nausea).

Week 14 after the additional tests.

January 26th, 2021
On Tuesday January 26th at 1:18PM the phone rang. It was bad news. Peanut had some chromosome abnormalities and with that there would most likely tag along several other complications. We were now pregnant in week 14 and had entered the second trimester. It was exactly the time (or actually a week before that) that we had planned to announce our pregnancy. It was exactly the time that we had planned to start buying a few things in order to prep for Peanut’s arrival (July 28th, 2021 đŸ€). But, instead of celebrating and announcing, we were now faced with the decision to end the pregnancy or to go through with it and hope that the baby would be healthy enough to live. What we did know, though, was that Peanut already had some serious health issues. We were in complete shock for days. All of it surreal and crushing. So, we sat with it and just let all of our feelings and thoughts flow for a few days.

February 1st, 2021
We scheduled another appointment with a doctor for further discussions some days later. I talked with a counselor which we are seeing from now on, and then after meeting with a specialist together, Liz and I decided for Peanut’s sake and for our own, that it was the best to end the pregnancy. It was the hardest decision we have ever made and we were devastated. This wasn’t the way we wanted this journey to end. Our dreams were crushed. We started the ending process, and while I’ve been through some tough days in my life, I can say that these days have, by far, been the worst days in our lives. When you’ve come this far in the pregnancy (about to enter week 16), it’s a birthing process at the hospital. The difference is that you don’t get to go home with your baby…

We were terrified and devastated, but, we did it all. Together. We were able to see and hold you, little Peanut, and you were so beautiful in your own little way. And then we said goodbye.

February 3rd, 2021 – the day with said goodbye to you, Peanut.

Even though just a short time has passed and we are now deep in our grief, we wanted to share this story to honor our beloved Peanut, our girl who we had several names planned for, and who we were expecting to meet in July this coming summer. Peanut, you will never be forgotten. We love you and we dug deep into our souls to do what we thought was the best for you and for us. đŸ€

With great and forever love, 
Mamma Lina & Mommy Liz

My new quarantine routine

May 2, 2020

I gotta have some routines when working from home and when not really doing anything specific from day to day. This is something I’ve been working on figuring out from day 1 of quarantine.

I know that some of my readers aren’t from Sweden and I’m not going to describe exactly how the Swedish society is facing the pandemic, although plenty of you have probably heard both good and bad news about the strategy here. Shortly put: we’re not in lockdown and we don’t have strict laws forcing us to stay home. The strategy is based on strong recommendations with daily updates of information from experts. At 2PM there are different agencies/departments who provide the latest information, recommendations, etc. at a televised press conference. And the majority of the population follows these recommendations. In general, we are all listening to what is being said. There have been situations, however, where people have started to relax a tad bit too much, and then there are new rules to follow the next day due to that.

We’ve built our society on freedom with a great portion of individual responsibility. That’s always been a big part of Swedish society. And, now, Sweden has, from pretty much the beginning, been careful about shutting down the whole country since this pandemic most likely will go on for a longer period of time, and a total shutdown will not be possible to keep going month after month – due to economy and people’s mental health. I’m not saying this is the best way of facing the pandemic, nor that it is a bad way – we will all see once this is “over”, or when we have a greater distance from it all. This is just a really short description of how Sweden is doing it.

The day before yesterday was Walpurgis Eve /April 30/”Last of April”, which is a huge celebration day in Uppsala where we live. Hundreds of thousands of people are usually out and about, having picnics in parks, celebrating spring. You can read more about it here. It usually looks like this. (<– Google image search of Last of April in Uppsala). Yesterday the city looked like this (<– The article is in Swedish, but focus on the drones videos/images taken – the differences!!!). People listened to the agencies/departments who were telling us to skip the big celebrations 2020, and that makes my soul and heart warm – we can do this!

Pictures from other years during Last of April celebrations, totally “stolen” from Liz’s blog.

Ok, I wasn’t gonna write a lot about the pandemic and Sweden..hehe. Back to where I started, about my new routines. The past weeks, I do believe since Easter, I’ve lost some “discipline”. I don’t like to have rules, and will never really have any since my life existed with so many rules when I was sick with anorexia. I’m over that kind of mindset, and but I like to focus on what makes me feel good right here and now. Therefore, the routines are not based on something I’m gonna do every day, or push me towards some kind of weird spiral down to a dark place. No, this is all based on how to make me feel good inside out, in these times of pandemic.

Starting on Monday, I’ll only work 80% (and not 100%), but thanks to the government of Sweden, I’ll get paid for 96%. This means, I’ll work every day but will get off earlier which actually feels kind of nice now when spring is here and summer is upon us. The evenings are brighter and warmer.

My idea and plan
07.15 AM Wake up
08.00 AM Start to work
12.00 PM Lunch break with a walk outside
15:30 PM Get off

After work hours, I will start taking power walks for at least 45 min (could also be some easy work out at home instead or combined), come home and take a shower, and then cook dinner. After dinner, I’ll do various activities which could be to play the piano, sketch, clean/organize the storage units in the basement, watch Netflix, bake, get out in the car somewhere (out in nature), puzzle, talk with my parents on FaceTime, Zoom with the whole family (it’s hilarious), clean our home, do laundry, spend time in our backyard, and hang out with my brother and his family or two of our friends. In this way I’ll get some physical activity, fresh air, a structured work day, regular meals, and social activities as well. It’s what I need and feel good about right now.

Most important is to wake up and get a feel of what I need that exact day. Do I need to just lay down on the couch and watch Netflix, I’ll do that, and not feel bad about it. I don’t need guilty feelings hovering over me, or negative thoughts about myself right now. I wanna feel as good as I can in this time.

En vÀdjan till egoisterna

March 29, 2020

Jag skulle ha varit dĂ€r nu. Skulle ha haft semester i en vecka och Ă„kt skidor i fjĂ€llen. Skulle ha tillbringat tid med min Ă€lskade familj som jag inte trĂ€ffar alltför ofta. Före skidsemestern skulle jag och min fru haft besök av en nĂ€ra vĂ€n frĂ„n Tyskland som vi inte trĂ€ffat pĂ„ lĂ€nge och innan det skulle vi ha bestĂ€llt ett nytt kök. Före det, eller mĂ„nader sedan, hade vi Ă€ven börjat den största processen i mitt och min frus liv – att blir gravida! TĂ€nka sig att jag precis nĂ€mnde det i detta sammanhang först! Nu har jag sagt det till vĂ€rlden, eller ja, till de som faktiskt Ă€r hĂ€r inne och lĂ€ser och som förstĂ„r svenska. Jag kommer skriva mer om vĂ„r process framöver för jag/vi vill gĂ€rna dela med oss av vĂ„r resa att skaffa barn som vi har börjat pĂ„ och i de dryga tvĂ„ Ă„r som gĂ„tt sedan jag sist bloggade, har jag den senaste tiden saknat en kanal i mitt liv dĂ€r jag kan uttrycka mig. Jag kommer med andra ord att börja skriva mer hĂ€r igen, för jag behöver det och dĂ„ Ă€ven berĂ€tta mer om vĂ„r process i att försöka att bli gravida. Men som sagt, det Ă€r en annan process och historia. Nu, tillbaka till det jag började skriva om…

Just nu Àr allt ovisst men jag vet att vi inte ska ivÀg pÄ vÄr skidsemester med familjen med start idag. VÄr vÀn frÄn Tyskland kom inte hit och hÀlsade pÄ oss. Vi har pausat vÄra köksrenoveringsplaner just nu och avvaktar lÀget och Reproduktionscentrum utför inga behandlingar i dagslÀget och dÄ pÄ obestÀmd tid framöver. Vi kommer dessutom inte att kunna Äka och hÀlsa pÄ vÄr familj i USA till sommaren som det ser ut nu och vet inte nÀr vi kommer kunna se dem igen. Den ovissheten Àr otroligt jobbig, speciellt dÄ vi har en slÀkting som ligger för döden.

Det Ă€r sjukt trĂ„kigt att allt detta sker och jag Ă€r ledsen och grĂ„ter ibland. Jag HATAR rent ut sagt Covid-19 men det handlar om hĂ€lsan nu – om liv och död.

Jag blir uppriktigt sagt otroligt arg, besviken och ledsen nĂ€r andra skiter i detta och lever pĂ„ som om det inte fanns nĂ„gon annan Ă€n de sjĂ€lva hĂ€r i vĂ€rlden, i Norden, i Sverige, i den stora staden eller det mindre samhĂ€llet. DET om nĂ„got har satt sina spĂ„r i mig. HUR Ă€r det ens möjligt att tĂ€nka sĂ„ egoistiskt just nu? 

SNÄLLA, res inte nu. FolhĂ€lsomyndighetens rekommendation Ă€r att inte resa just nu, vare sig det Ă€r till fjĂ€llen, din sommarstuga, eller andra stĂ€llen. Stanna hemma för att minska smittspridningen i landet! Hoppar vi de sociala sammankomsterna nu, kommer det förhoppningsvis gĂ„ snabbare för oss att fĂ„ tillbaka den vardag vi sĂ„ gĂ€rna vill ha tillbaka. Ge efter med vad ni sjĂ€lva vill ha eller göra nu och fĂ„ det snabbare tillbaka snart. FjĂ€llen kommer att vara kvar, nĂ€sta Ă„r. Det kanske inte din mamma eller farmor Ă€r. Det Ă€r sant. Det hĂ€nder. MĂ€nniskor dör. Ta det inte som att det bara Ă€r en förkylning för dig och ignorera allvaret, för nĂ„gon annan som tar över din eventuella “förkylning”, kan dö.

TĂ€nk ocksĂ„ pĂ„ vad det innebĂ€r för de mindre stĂ€derna, samhĂ€llena eller byarna som inte har samma resurser som exempelvis Stockholm, Göteborg och Malmö. Trotsar mĂ„nga mĂ€nniskor, eller gĂ„r emot de rekommendationer som finns och som Ă€r tillsatta istĂ€llet för restriktioner, kommer Sverige vara tvunget att ta till restriktioner och Ă€ndra lagar tillfĂ€lligt Ă„t det hĂ„rdare hĂ„llet. Vill vi det? Kan vi inte försöka ta ett individansvar nu, Ă€ndra vĂ„ra planer och vĂ„rt liv just nu, sĂ„ att vi snart kan fĂ„ tillbaka vĂ„ra liv igen?

Även om ni inte kĂ€nner av nĂ„gra symptom eller tycker ni Ă€r sjuka sĂ„ KAN NI FORTFARANDE BÄRA PÅ VIRUSET OCH NI KAN BIDRA TILL ATT NÅGON ANNAN BLIR SJUK OCH KANSKE DÖR!!! Bara för att du ville Ă„ka skidor, gĂ„ pĂ„ den dĂ€r puben och dricka en öl, eller gĂ„ pĂ„ den dĂ€r tillstĂ€llningen dĂ„ det Ă€ndĂ„ ”bara” skulle vara du och 499 andra personer. Tack och lov att denna siffra Ă€ndras, frĂ„n och med idag, till max 50 personer (Ă€ven om det Ă€r lite vĂ€l löst bestĂ€mt och en kan ifrĂ„gasĂ€tta en hel del). 

Hur svĂ„rt kan det vara att ta hĂ€nsyn till fler Ă€n dig sjĂ€lv? SnĂ€lla, detta Ă€r en vĂ€djan till dig som kanske fokuserat lite vĂ€l mycket pĂ„ jaget det senaste tiden. Suck it up och ta ett samhĂ€llsansvar nu – för allas hĂ€lsa. Det kĂ€nns skönt att ha skrivit ned detta nu och jag kĂ€nner att jag behöver runda av detta inlĂ€gg för att gĂ„ vidare med lite mer positivitet i kroppen. KĂ€nner ni att ni sjĂ€lva behöver och vill skriva av er, Ă€r kommentarsfĂ€ltet öppet för tankar, kĂ€nslor, reaktioner eller vad ni nu kĂ€nner att ni vill skriva och dela med er utav. Ta hand om er och era medmĂ€nniskor <3 Avslutar med ett citat som jag sett cirkulera den senaste tiden;

Jag gÄr till jobbet för din skull, stanna hemma för min skull.

Anne Rosendahl, sjuksköterska

Back to work!

September 5, 2016
YOU create your own possibilities

Guys, guess what I’m doing today!!! I’m gonna start working a little bit again, after nearly a year of being on the sick list full time. I’ll take it really slowly in the beginning, and will just be at work a couple of hours every day. I’m pumped, excited, but also nervous in some way. Just like it “should” be, I guess.

At least, I’m not gonna work with stressful deadlines and have any direct contact with customers in the beginning. Instead, I am going to work within the company, such as, promoting it in on social media. Gonna be so much fun! I love social media, and to be able to work with it, is awesome. Like a dream. I feel so creative and inspired right now.

So from now on, I’ll work a tiny bit again, and I think we all (my therapist, mentor, Liz, the doctor, my job, and I) all have a great plan for me. And I’m gonna start saying that my position at work is not only as a Graphic Designer, but also as a Social Media Coordinator.

Back in town

July 16, 2016

I’m back in Uppsala after an amazing week in the archipelago together with family and friends. I’ve been rowing a boat, canoeing, taking a dip in the cold (at least to me) ocean, laughing like crazy… I’ve been singing, playing Hanabi (a new, again, to me, fun game), walking in the woods with my dad, staring at the endless beauty of nature, talking both about fun things and sad things, gotten sad news, and gained more confidence that I one day will be healthy and free.

This is what it looked like. It was a detox for me when it comes to Internet access. Pretty much zero reception there, so I didn’t carry my phone around and therefore, don’t have that many pics.

SkeppsgÄrden - Me & Liz

SkeppsgÄrden

SkeppsgÄrden

SkeppsgÄrden - The Road

SkeppsgÄrden - Gula Huset

SkeppsgÄrden - Sunset

Today, Liz and I are doing laundry, organizing, and running errands. We’re off to the US in just a few days!

Hope you’re having great summer or winter (wherever you are!) ♄

The Archipelago

July 9, 2016

greenery

dock

It’s the time of the year when I’m gonna head out to the place that is the closest to my heart, the archipelago. A place I’ve spent a week during almost every summer, throughout my whole life. I’m gonna sit on the dock and look out at the beautiful scenery. I’m gonna have endless conversations with family, relatives, old friends, and new friends. I’m gonna row the boat out to an island and watch the sun set. I’m gonna sit up late at night, playing board games, and laughing so much stomach will hurt. I’m gonna listen to podcasts, music, and read books. I’m gonna walk in the woods and breathe in the fresh air of the Swedish nature. I cannot wait.

I’ll be back next weekend. Until then… ♄

HÄkan Hellström

June 17, 2016

Good memories that I will always keep close to my heart. HĂ„kan Hellström at Ullevi, Gothenburg, June 5th, together with 70 143 other people. Amazing. Liz made a video, which you can find here (or further down in this post!) and she also wrote an awesome post on her blog. It’s little bit tough right now, so today, I’m gonna play his music and remember the magic that took place in Gothenburg just a few weeks ago.

Jag tror ↔ I believe
NĂ€r vi gĂ„r genom tiden ↔ As we go through life
Att allt det bĂ€sta ↔  That all the best
Inte hĂ€nt Ă€n ↔ Hasn’t happened yet

 

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Birthday Girl

May 20, 2016

Bday

This picture was taken 30 years ago! Time flies…However, I’m turning 32 today and will celebrate as much as I can by gathering friends and family together and drink lots of beer. YEAH!

wishes

January 28, 2016

The Beach.

I would like to…

  • Enjoy eating and drinking without anxiety and/or negative thoughts.
  • Like myself – feel that I’m ok the way I am.
  • Work again. I love my job and my co-workers, but my life and the sickness is not stable enough to manage a job right now.
  • Longboard and be pretty good at it.
  • Decorate our (as of right now non-existing) own apartment, downtown Uppsala.
  • Have trips planned and bought. Ex. Paris, Dublin, Berlin, and the States.
  • Be healthy and free from this stupid sickness. I hate you. Yes, Anorexia is something I truly HATE.

Stressed out

January 10, 2016

Me

Just have a long list of stuff I’m worried and stressed out about right now in life…I miss feeling alive, creative, happy, and just full of energy. Now, it’s everything but that.

Welcome 2016

January 1, 2016

January 1st

I’m ready for you, 2016. A year I hope will bring more happiness, a better health, and many amazing adventures.

Merry Christmas

December 24, 2015

Merry Christmas

Liz and I are at my parents’ place, celebrating the Swedish way on Christmas Eve and will celebrate the American way once we’re back in Uppsala. Hope you’re having a great time ♄

Sunday morning

October 25, 2015

Candles.

Candles.

Good morning! It’s right after 8am here and Sweden has changed to winter time so the time difference between the States (East Coast) and Sweden are only 5 hours now for one week, until the States changes time. I haven’t really felt the change that much, but probably will later on today when it’ll get darker earlier.

I’m sitting here on the couch in our living room, it’s pretty gray outside so I decided to light some candles for extra coziness, while I’m sipping my cup of coffee. We spent all Saturday at home and I organized papers, rested, and we also started watching a, for us, new TV series, Homeland. I like it so far. Today’s plans were first to perhaps go and check out the dream apartment since it’s a showing today, but we really can’t buy it now, so it’ll probably just be tough to see it in real life. So we’re skipping it. But we’re heading downtown after lunch to do a few errands (I might get another reward based on my reward system!) and to also get out a little bit. Other than that, we’re just gonna be home, probably watch some more Homeland/TV, and I’m gonna mentally prepare myself as much as possible for the upcoming week.

When you’re in treatment for an eating disorder, you eat from a really specific food schedule – based on times, amounts, and it’s all planned out exactly what you’re gonna eat. It’s also pretty common to not eat 100% in the beginning. For example, when I started day treatment, I only ate half of a full portion of the lunch there. It’s because you need to mentally get used to eating again and physically, your body needs to get used to the amount of foods, so you have to take it easy. I’ve been at 100% on my food schedule at day treatment for a little while now, but not at home (as the plan has been).

But it’s time to change gears now, and I have already begun by eating a bigger snack in the evening. However, starting Monday, I’m gonna eat cooked food for dinner (have had yogurt and mĂŒsli before)…so it’s a pretty big change which is really hard for me..or the eating disorder. Mind and body are not connected, and the eating disorder is screaming not to eat, while Lina knows that this is the healthy way to go, so every single meal is a huge battle that no one else, who hasn’t had an eating disorder, can really understand. But I’m trying to share a few things here, so hopefully you readers, will get an insight as to what it is like.

Speaking of food, I believe it’s time to prepare breakfast now…

Blogs I read

September 28, 2015

I read blogs everyday, and mainly blogs about everyday life, pretty things, and blogs with good photos and posts where you can tell there’s work behind it. I thought of sharing a few of them here so lets check them out!

Liz → belovelive.com

Liz is my wife and she blogs about life – spirituality, her own everyday life, meditation, work, holidays, her life as an expat (she’s an American living in Sweden), and she takes amazing pictures. I like her blog for the good quality of pictures and that, since we’re living our lives together, my life is also partly documented through beautiful texts and photos. I’m really thankful for that.

Liz

 

Julia → prick.blogg.se

Julia is my cousin and has been blogging for many years now. I like the variety of subjects of her posts, but they’re mainly a document of her life – what she’s eating, what she’s doing, fashion, photography, concerts/music, and her creative side – making so many diy-projects which is so inspiring. Her pictures are always beautifully taken.

Julia

 

Sandra → sandrabeijer.se

Sandra, I don’t know personally, but what I like with her blog is that she was born the same year I was, 1984, and therefore, I can relate so good to some of her texts and photos back in the days. I like to read about her interior projects in her apartment in Stockholm, her visits abroad (LOVE reading about her New York City visits – she used to live there). She’s also an author and writes beautifully about pretty much everything. Good and inspiring food tips as well.

Sandra

 

Flora → flora.metromode.se

Flora is in her early twenties and is a really creative girl – she takes pictures, illustrates, and always has some projects going on. She also creates tutorials and takes beautiful pictures. Flora is also going to San Fransisco soon, and will stay there for three months. Since it’s a dream of mine to go there, I can’t wait to see it through her lens and texts.

Flora

 

Kat → patriotinparis.com

Kat is my American cousin (she’s Liz’s cousin from the beginning), and she has just started her blog since her move to Paris! We can’t wait to visit her there, but also show her where we live, and the surrounding areas, such as Stockholm. She writes really good, I think, and I can’t wait to follow her everyday life in Paris. If you would like to read an American’s view and experiences in Paris, here it is.

Kat

 

Nicole → nicibici.wordpress.com

Nicole is Swiss, but married an Irish guy and they now live in Ireland. They just moved out from their downtown apartment in Dublin, to a house in the country, where they also can have their horses. They have also just given birth to a son, and we’re dying to meet him, see their new place, and just hang out all together again. Glad she has started blogging again after a break for some months!

Nicole

 

Paige → fortheloveofwanderlust.com

Paige is a friend of mine in the States and her passion for traveling is just making my travel nerve itch even more. Even though this isn’t really a regular day to day blog where she blogs about her life, I enjoy checking in here to see what her latest trip was like. This is a travel focused-blog and as of right now, she writes about her trip to Southeast Asia that she took in March-June this year.

Paige

 

Beata → radarmagazine.se/beata/

Beata is a really creative girl (seeing a pattern here about the blogs I enjoy reading – the creative ones! Hehe). But she truly creates so much from anything! She also writes about her everyday life, field trips, family with all her siblings, cooks interesting Asian food, takes good pictures, and writes openly about her anxiety, to just mention a few things.

Beata

 

Sophie → theprivatelifeofagirl.com

As Sophie says herself on her blog, it’s a creative lifestyle blog, where she also takes amazing pictures, display stuff cool, writes about having your own business, and is basically inspiring in all kind of ways.

Sophie

 

Beata → beatas.se

Beata lives in my hometown, is my age, and has just moved to a big house out in the country. She takes pictures of, what I think, the beautiful house, and all decoration/interior that comes with that.

Beata

 

Happy Birthday, Liz!

September 24, 2015

Liz

Today, my friends, is not just a regular Thursday in September! It’s, according to me, the best person in the world’s, birthday! I thought, in the honor of her, to share some photos of her, us, and things that means a lot to her. Because, she’s my everything, today, and forever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
LIZ
♄

Collage Liz 1

She’s a girl who truly has a huge love for coffee, so she’s done a blog project, called “Forty Days of Fika” where she visited 40 different cafes in Asheville, NC and blogged about it, started her own fika group in the States, wrote about fika in a local paper, and just loves hanging out at various cafes, together with friends – new and old, family, and/or me. She also has a passion for meditation, yoga, spiritual guidance, etc. Something I admire her for, and something that’s so far from what I do. But that’s also why I love her so much. She does things that’s making her grow as a person, feel good about herself, and is such an inspiring, and interesting person, I think.

Sunset by Liz

Summer

Liz also takes amazing pictures, and creates her own little projects, such taking pictures of skies/sunsets Another project of hers, is the music project, where she created monthly playlists started when she turned 40 last year. I wrote some about it here.
liz collage

Even though we’re pretty different, there are so many things we enjoy doing together – traveling, brewing beer, exploring Stockholm together, walking in the Pride Parade together, meeting new people, watching TV-series/movies together, and the list can continue for an endless infinity.

 

I love you so much and I hope you enjoy your birthday to the fullest ♄

Summer Days

August 30, 2015

Liz and I have stayed in Sweden during the summer, which has been really good for us, I think. I/we needed to just be. Here. Try to land a bit after some hectic months in our lives. We love to travel, explore new places and cultures, but this time, it was good to stay home (we also didn’t have a choice since Liz’s passport was at the Immigration Office due to her application to become a Swedish citizen + we have a cat to take care of).

We took a few shorter trips to surrounding areas though. The archipelago and Stockholm a few times. Norrköping a few times, Sigtuna – the oldest city of Sweden which is about an hour from Uppsala, and then stayed in Uppsala some as well. It is amazing nature here in Sweden and there is a great law that gives everyone the right to go wherever. Love it. We also have had a few visitors who have sparkled our lives with their presence. ♄

Let’s check it out – pictures taken with my phone and mostly posted (if not all..hehe), on Instagram. I’m liersees there by the way.
THE ARCHIPELAGO

water

greenary

dock
STOCKHOLM

Summer Days

Summer Days

Summer Days

Summer Days

Summer Days

Summer Days
SIGTUNA

Summer Days

Summer Days

Summer Days
NORRKÖPING

Summer Days

Summer Days

Summer Days
UPPSALA

 

Summer Days

My new bike

AW

Summer Days

Summer Days

a little list

July 17, 2015

What are you wearing today?
↓

outfit
Jeans from Gap, a striped tank from Monki, a long cardigan (bought in the States somewhere), and shoes from Vagabond.

What movie did you watch last?
Hmm. I believe it was Monster with Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci, from 2007. ItÂŽs based on the life of Aileen Wuornos – a prostitute from Florida who become a serial killer. Love movies based on true stories, even though the majority of them are sad and horrible.

What does your wallet look like?
Like this ↓

When did you wake up today?
6.30 am. My goal is to get off at 3 pm every day now when I am working from home and it’s summer time
just to get as much out of the late afternoon/evening, as possible. I usually work between 8.30 am and 4.30 pm.

Describe the place you are at now.
I’m sitting by my desk at home. ↓
desk

What five things can’t I be without in the pentry?
Salt, olive oil, various beans, pasta, and bread.

What have you done today?
I’ve worked between 7 am and 3 pm. Then met up with a friend who came to visit my wife and I, from Stockholm. We studied social work together in Östersund. Drank beer together at home, chatted about life, then headed out for dinner downtown and another friend joined us as well <3

A list totally taken from: spaceherosuits

KörbÀrstrÀden i KungstrÀdgÄrden

May 4, 2015

(Short summary in English, below)

För nÄgra veckor sedan var Liz och jag i Stockholm (eller ja, det har vi varit varje lördag de senaste veckorna), men vÄrt mÄl denna gÄngen var att titta pÄ de underbara körsbÀrstrÀden i KungstrÀdgÄrden som hade börjat slÄ. Jag tror inte att jag har timat det en enda gÄng tidigare i mitt liv, sÄ det var första gÄngen för bÄde mig och Liz. Tycker vi tittar pÄ en gÄng.

Cherry Trees in KungstrÀdgÄrden

Us in KungstrÀdgÄrden

Cherry Trees in KungstrÀdgÄrden


 

English Summary

CHERRY BLOSSOM TREES IN KUNGSTRÄDGÅRDEN
A few weeks ago, Liz and I spent our Saturday in Stockholm and checked out the beautiful cherry blossom trees.

 

PÅSKHELGEN

April 6, 2015

(Short summary in English, below)

Hoppas att pĂ„sken har varit fin och att ni har firat eller bara varit, precis sĂ„ som ni har önskat eller velat ha det. Jag och Liz tog tĂ„get till Norrköping och mina förĂ€ldrar i fredags eftermiddag och tog det mest lugnt pĂ„ fredagskvĂ€llen. PĂ„ lördagen Ă„t vi frukost lĂ€nge och förberedde sedan pĂ„sklunch till slĂ€ktingar som skulle komma lite senare. TyvĂ€rr var min systerson sjuk och vi skulle egentligen Ă„kt ut till min honom och reste av min systers familj pĂ„ pĂ„skaftonseftermiddagen och kvĂ€llen för att fira hans 13-Ă„rsdag…men det blev trĂ„kigt nog instĂ€llt sĂ„ pĂ„skaftonskvĂ€llen bjöd pĂ„ pizza med min moster och tre av mina kusiner, tillsammans med Liz och mina förĂ€ldrar. Mysigt och gott det med. PĂ„ söndagen begav vi oss ivĂ€g till kyrkan och sedan Ă„kte vi hem till min faster och farbror för att fira min kusin som fyller 25 Ă„r nĂ€sta helg. SĂ„ himla kul och mysigt att spendera massor med tid med slĂ€kten. En del av de vi umgicks med i helgen har jag och Liz inte sett sedan förra sommaren vilket Ă€r pĂ„ tok för lĂ€nge sedan. Liz och jag tog bussen tillbaka till Uppsala igĂ„r kvĂ€ll och mötte direkt upp min bror (som hade firat pĂ„sk med hans fĂ€stmös familj) för snack och en drink pĂ„ Radisson vid stationen.

Idag har vi bara varit hemma..eller vi försökte oss pĂ„ att gĂ„ en promenad tidigare men det slutade med att vi gick till mataffĂ€ren och köpte lite nödvĂ€ndigheter och gick hem igen. Hehe. Ska jag vara riktigt Ă€rlig kĂ€nner jag mig en aning seg och otroligt emotionell just nu sĂ„ allt jag vill göra Ă€r att bara vara hemma. Vet att jag borde komma igĂ„ng med lite fysisk aktivitet för att bryta av i vardagen lite (har ju ett vĂ€ldigt stillasittande jobb ocksĂ„), fĂ„ bĂ€ttre kondition och att ta hand om min kropp bĂ€ttre, men pĂ„ ett sunt sĂ€tt! Men det Ă€r svĂ„rt att ta det steget till att börja trĂ€na igen dĂ„ man inte gjort det pĂ„ lĂ€nge pga. sjukdom. Är det nĂ„gon av er som har en liknande erfarenhet? Hur har ni burit er Ă„t? Dela gĂ€rna med er om ni vill…Har dividerat kring det hela vĂ€ldigt mycket inom mig den senaste tiden..och ska nog försöka mig pĂ„ att att komma igĂ„ng med trĂ€ning Ă€ndĂ„. Ja, sĂ„ fĂ„r det bli. NĂ„gon gĂ„ng under veckan ska jag köpa trĂ€ningskort! Ok, det var ett litet sidospĂ„r…

Tog inte sÄ mycket kort under sjÀlva pÄskhelgen..och utav dessa tre hÀrunder, sÄ fÄr Liz photo credit för de bÄda med oss pÄ!

easter1

easter2

easter3

 

 


Short Summary

EASTER WEEKEND

Hope your Easter has been fab. in the way you wanted it to be! Liz and I spent a couple of days at my parents’ in Norrköping with plenty of precious time with family. We hadn’t seen some of them since last summer…We came back to Uppsala late last night and met up with my brother (who had spent Easter with his finance’s family) for some drinks -cozy! Today, we’ve just been at home, tried to take a walk earlier, but ended up at the grocery store and then went back home..I have no energy, but I’m gonna try to change that very soon. Didn’t take that many pictures during Easter, and Liz gets credit for the two with us. :) Please try the more or less good Google translate, if you want to translate the whole text.

SPRING LOVE

March 21, 2015

(Short summary in English, below).

Liz och jag har nu flyttat in i den nya lÀgenheten hÀr i Uppsala och hunnit bo hÀr i nÀstan prick tvÄ veckor och trivs ypperligt! Jag fÄr kanske skriva mer om den en annan dag för idag tÀnkte jag dela med mig av nÄgra senaste favoriter! Som till exempel frukostbordet pÄ bilden hÀr ovanför. Att sitta och Àta frukost en solig söndagsmorgon, tillsammans med min fru och en god vÀn. Mys. <3


Att ha hÄret uppsatt i en bun. Har haft utslÀppt en hel del den senaste tiden, men bestÀmde mig i torsdags för att ha det uppsatt. Annorlunda och bra. <3


Tulpaner. Tulpaner. Och tulpaner. Älskar dem och de ger en sĂ„dan otrolig vĂ„rkĂ€nsla. Älskart. <3


Min nya vÄrkappa. Inköpt pÄ Weekday för nÄgra veckor sedan. Har bara hunnit anvÀnda den en gÄng, men more to come. <3


Min fjÀdertatuering som pÄminner mig varje dag om att försöka leva livet till fullo. LÄter kanske vÀldans klyschigt. Men det har varit och Àr lite tufft den senaste tiden (inget allvarligt!) och dÄ Àr det bra att titta extra mycket pÄ min Àlskade fjÀder som pÄminner mig om hur livet en gÄng var och hur jag vill leva mitt liv idag. Tror detta fÄr bli ett eget inlÀgg sÄ smÄningom.


Short Summary

Some spring love. Breakfast table a Sunday in the sun, together with my wife, and a good friend. To have my hair up in a bun. Tulips. Tulips. Tulips. My spring coat, and my feather tattoo as a reminder where I’ve been and where I’m going in life.  Please try the more or less good Google translate, if you want to translate the whole text.

HEJ KÄRA LÄSARE

February 22, 2015

(Short summary in English, below).

Hej, ni som Ă€r kvar och lĂ€ser hĂ€r, ni som kanske hittat hit för första gĂ„ngen, nĂ€ra och kĂ€ra, okĂ€nda och/eller nyfikna! Jag har inte skrivit pĂ„ ett bra tag hĂ€r och anledningarna Ă€r mĂ„nga och inget jag kommer be om ursĂ€kt över, skylla pĂ„ eller gĂ„ in nĂ€rmare pĂ„ direkt. Jag skriver pĂ„ svenska vilket Ă€r lite ovanligt men ocksĂ„ ganska skönt. Jag gillar eller rent ut sagt Ă€lskar engelska men tror jag har haft nĂ„gon slags inre kris nĂ€r det kommer till min identitet och min plats hĂ€r i vĂ€rlden och dĂ„ kan en sĂ„dan sak som att skriva pĂ„ svenska, pĂ„ min blogg, vara en omstĂ€llning som kan vara nödvĂ€ndigt. Kanske förlorar jag en del lĂ€sare, kanske hittar nya personer hit? Vi fĂ„r helt enkelt se. Å andra sidan ska jag försöka att inte fokusera alltför mycket pĂ„ hur mĂ„nga det Ă€r som egentligen lĂ€ser mina sporadiska inlĂ€gg.

SĂ„ det hĂ€r med en inre kris. Det lĂ„ter kanske ganska allvarligt vilket det egentligen inte Ă€r. Men det Ă€r stort. För mig i alla fall. Att försöka hitta sig sjĂ€lv, vem man Ă€r och hur man identifierar sig sjĂ€lv Ă€r nĂ„got som jag kĂ€mpat med i mĂ„nga Ă„r och under majoriteten av dem Ă„ren var jag dessutom sjuk i anorexia (vilket inte medförde till nĂ„gon förbĂ€ttring pĂ„ identitetsfronten). Jag flyttade sedan till USA med min fru, studerade pĂ„ universitet och försökte hitta min plats dĂ€r. Efter att nu flyttat tillbaka till Sverige och bott hĂ€r i ganska precis en mĂ„nad varav tre veckor i Uppsala dĂ€r jag har börjat ett nytt jobb, försöker jag att komma in i den svenska kulturen, ett nytt jobb samt inte bli alltför tokig pĂ„ hur vi bor. Det Ă€r absolut inget fel pĂ„ dĂ€r vi bor just nu men det Ă€r otroligt begrĂ€nsat men knappt nĂ„got Internet (det Ă€r off och on och ja, jag Ă€r beroende av att ha Internet), ingen TV och vi lever utifrĂ„n de klĂ€der och ytterst fĂ„ saker som vi flög över med frĂ„n USA (vĂ„rt flyttlass kom till mina förĂ€ldrar i Norrköping efter att vi Ă„kt upp till Uppsala) och flyttlasset blev packat och började processen med att flyttas över till Sverige, cirka en och en halv vecka innan vi flyttade frĂ„n USA..vilket betyder att de klĂ€der och saker vi hade i vĂ„ra tvĂ„ resvĂ€skor vardera, Ă€r det vi har levt utifrĂ„n i snart en och en halv mĂ„nad. Ja, jag Ă€r lite utav en materialist..men jag har kommit fram till att jag behöver en trygg bas (ett hem dĂ€r jag trivs och saker som jag trivs med omkring mig) och speciellt dĂ„ det Ă€r saker frĂ„n vĂ„rt hem i USA. Att fĂ„ ha dem omkring sig i Sverige blir som en kombination, en hĂ€rlig blandning, av vĂ„ra tvĂ„ kulturer. Om tre veckor fĂ„r vi Ă€ntligen flytta in i en mysig lĂ€genhet med hĂ€rlig karaktĂ€r – högt i tak, vitmĂ„lade trĂ€golv, stort kök med plats för att ha vĂ€nner över pĂ„ middagar och en positiv energi i hela lĂ€genheten. Om tvĂ„ veckor ska vi Ă„ka till mina förĂ€ldrar, gĂ„ igenom vĂ„rt flyttlass frĂ„n USA som tar upp i stort sett ett helt rum, och flytta upp majoriteten av allt. DĂ€rför sitter jag hĂ€r idag, dĂ„ jag kĂ€nner mig lite trött och nere, vid vĂ„rt köksbord i vĂ„r temporĂ€ra lĂ€genhet och planerar vĂ„r nya lĂ€genhet inredningsmĂ€ssigt – totalt levande i framtiden och inte alls i nuet..fast Ă„ andra sidan blir nuet mer behagligt om jag fĂ„r fokusera pĂ„ nĂ„got positivt som kommer framöver. Lite knixigt det dĂ€r.

Hoppas att nÄgra av er lÀsare Àr kvar hÀr och att inte alltför mÄnga blir besvikna över min sprÄkÀndring hÀr inne. Vi fÄr se om jag ÄtergÄr till engelska, eller om jag stannar kvar i svenskan. Men just nu kÀnns det vÀldigt bra att skriva pÄ svenska.


Short Summary
Trying to write in Swedish on my blog since it’s my mother tongue and I feel like a change here on my blog, and in my life somehow as well. I might loose readers, but might also gain some? And perhaps, I shouldn’t even care about either? Talking about some inner crises about finding myself and my longing for the move to our new apartment we’re moving to in three weeks. We’ve lived out of our suitcases for about 1.5 month now. Please try the more or less good Google translate, if you want to translate the whole text.

SWEDEN

January 26, 2015

Last time I wrote here was on January 14 and we had gone to the movies in Asheville to see Selma. Well… our lives are a bit different now. We spent a few more days in Asheville, before we moved out, drove up to NJ, and flew to Sweden. Yep. That’s where we are now and have been for just about a week now. It’s been a true emotional roller coaster for many weeks now, and I feel like I’m still in this weird bubble of, in someway, just existing without breathing. Don’t take me wrong, I’ve really enjoyed being here, seeing friends and family, but we’ve also been working hard on figuring out our lives in a practical way. Like where to live in Uppsala. I haven’t functioned lately since I’m the kind of girl who needs control or to know what’s about to happen, etc. I haven’t had a clue. But as of about a few hours ago, we finally, thanks to a friend, found a place to live in Uppsala. It’s just for some weeks, but it will at least give us some more time in order to find another apartment where we can live a bit longer, before we buy our own place. Phu. I’ve also talked with my brother, who I’m gonna work for, and it all feels so good! I’m so excited to start working again, and to do what I’ve been dreaming of doing!

So the past week of being here in Sweden has been great and stressful all at the same time, but I feel I can breathe some now, and hopefully enjoy the last week before I start working, even more now, since I can relax a bit more!

Sweden has been, and is, beautiful with its magical winter look. It’s all white and bright. I had somehow almost forgotten what it is like having snow on the ground for a longer period of time. Love it.

EMOTIONAL

December 18, 2014

Having a pretty tough day today…I’m so emotional. Today is December 18th which means it’s only one month until we leave Asheville, going by car to Newark, NJ, and then to the airport to fly out on the 19th. It’s only one month! I’m freaking out because there’s so much I wanna do here, so many people to hang out with, and so much more beer to drink – all in so little time. But lets focus on the positive things, because we have great and fun plans ahead of us.

♄ My parents are coming here and we’re going to pick them up at the airport on Saturday!

♄ We have a really cozy apartment.

♄ Christmas shopping.

♄ Christmas baking and cooking.

♄ Spend time with both our parents/families, together.

♄ All the secrets with Christmas gifts and the excitement around that – to give and to get.

♄ Move out of the apartment, stay downtown for a week, eat really good food, spend time with friends, and drink yummy local craft beer. Everything. All the time. Every day.

I am truly a kid when it comes to Christmas. I love it. And as someone said to Liz at the Christmas parade the other week, “Christmas is not only for the kids” – and gave her a bunch of candy. True that.

Ok, I believe it’s time to set some plans with close ones in Sweden as well, because we need to be reminded of all the positive things there, and to look forward to that, when we’re being sad for having to leave Asheville and the States (it’s sooo bittersweet this whole move). I love the States. I love Sweden.

THE HOLIDAY SEASON CAN BE TOUGH

December 15, 2014

The picture above, totally borrowed from Frisk&Fri’s website, and says; “We work for a society without eating disorders where everybody is free to be themselves.”  

It’s the holiday season, and I love every bit of it. Decorating at home, lighting a bunch of candles, planning, buying, and wrapping gifts, cooking and baking, and so on. But it has not always been like that. There was a time where I faked my happiness in front of everybody, a time where I had to fight my thoughts and fear of eating, and I was completely stressed out about it all. I was sick.

I know I could focus on the poor, the homeless, and so many other life situations that are going on in the world today, but there’s one thing really close to my heart and something I have first hand experience from- those who suffer from an eating disorder and literally fight for their lives. Imagine your biggest fear (could be heights, spiders/snakes, being in big crowds…), and then have to face it about six times per day. That’s what it is like suffering from an eating disorder.

There’s an organization in Sweden, called Frisk&Fri (Healthy & Free) that works on spreading information about eating disorders, supporting people who are sick and their close ones, working on preventing the sickness, and influencing better professional care. They have mentors spread out around Sweden, chat and phone supports, support groups. It’s pretty much an amazing organization. Check out their website!

 


ed1

This it the first page you come to when you get to their website (which you can find here), and where you navigate around to find what you need. Read about what Frisk&Fri does, support for people who are close to the sick one, how to get help for the one who are sick, how to support the organization, and facts about eating disorders.

 


ed2

You can also check out what kind of support there is, based on where you live. This is an organization where the volunteers have been sick themselves, but have recovered, and therefore have first hand experience of eating disorders. You find this page, here.

 


ed4

The organization’s support is really important, but it’s also significant to get professional help, which list you can find here.

 


ed7

So why do I write about this now? Of course, this is really important year around, but during this holiday season, it’s extra tough for someone with an eating disorder since there is so much is focus on the food. Frisk&Fri needs extra economic support so they can offer extra time to be there for people who contact them. You can easy donate money by texting:

FRISK50 or FRISK100 to 729 80 and you donate 50 or 100 kr (Sweden only!)

 


Lastly I want to share this text I found on Facebook

ed

 

DonÂŽt talk to your kids about their bodies, except when trying to explain how the body works. DonÂŽt talk to your kids about their weight, even when they have gained or lost weight. If you think your child will have an amazing body when he or she is grown, donÂŽt say it. Here are tips on what you can say instead: “You look healthy” is a really good alternative. Or what do you think about “You look strong!” or “I can tell that youÂŽre happy, you are glowing!”. Even better is talking about things that donÂŽt have to do with their bodies, at all.

Do not comment on other peoples bodies. Not even once, even if itÂŽs a positive comment. Teach your children to be nice to others, but also to themselves . DonÂŽt you dare, even for a second, talk about how you hate your body, in front of your children, or talk about your new diet. DonÂŽt do diets in front of your children. Buy and cook wholesome food, but donÂŽt say “Oh IÂŽm not eating carbs right now!”. Your kids arenÂŽt supposed to be thinking about if carbs are good or bad, or feel shame about eating things you are not. Shame only leads to more shame. Encourage your kids to run, since running reduces stress. Tell your kids to dare to climb mountains, ’cause there are few places that are so perfect for finding inner peace. Teach your kids to surf, climb or bike far or high (or both) so they know it can be good to challenge themselves.

Teach your kids to love sports. Sport makes you a better leader and increases your self confidence. Tell your kids that age doesnÂŽt matter, you will have to cooperate in groups all of your life. DonÂŽt ever force your kids to participate in sports they donÂŽt like. Maybe you have a daughter who isnÂŽt as tiny or thin as other girls? It is very easy for her to start hating her body. Tell her that she, if she wants, can run a maraton with her strong legs and that her broad frame lets her scream high or sing or lift the world.

Maybe you have a son, who is smaller than other boys. Tell him his worth doesnÂŽt lie in his muscles, but in his thoughtful being. Tell you children that they with their strong, healthy bodies, can move their beautiful souls wherever they want.

Freely translated from Spanish by Erika Geraci Ulvstranden

LUCIA

December 13, 2014

 

… otherwise called, Saint Lucy’s Day, is on 13 December, in Advent. Her feast once coincided with the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year before calendar reforms, so her feast day has become a festival of light. St. Lucy’s Day is celebrated most commonly in Scandinavia, with their long dark winters, where it is a major feast day. In Scandinavia, a person dressed in a white dress and a red sash carries palms and wears a crown or wreath of candles on her head. In Sweden, girls (or sometimes boys) dressed as Lucy carry rolls and cookies in procession as songs are sung. It is said that to vividly celebrate St. Lucy’s Day will help one live the long winter days with enough light. Text totally copied from wikipedia, and click here to read the whole article.

Liz woke me up this morning, with the Lucia song playing on her phone, and with a candle in her other hand. She had also prepared coffee that was brewing and fixed so we could stream the traditional Lucia program on the TV, from the Swedish TV. So cozy, and I totally teared up. It means so much to live in a bi+national marriage where your other half totally knows the tradition from your home country and culture. ♄

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SWEDISH AND AMERICAN TRADITIONS

November 26, 2014

My beloved niece FaceTimed us today, and she was baking gingerbread cookies together with my mom, my sister, and her nice’s three siblings. Since we were FaceTiming, we got to be part of the Swedish traditions as well. Gotta love technology.

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Liz has been cooking Thanksgiving food like crazy here today, and it has smelled delicious! I’ve gotten to taste some too. YUM. Can’t wait to eat all the yummy food tomorrow. Thanksgiving food is on my top list of Holiday foods. I love it. I don’t eat the turkey since I’m vegetarian, but everything else. Our friend, J, has spent the afternoon with us and it has been cozy times with a lot of good conversations. Tomorrow, we’re heading over to Liz’s parents’ place in morning, and will spend a cozy day there. Once Thanksgivng is over, it’s time to decorate for Christmas, so prepare for a lot of Holiday pictures on the blog in the near future.