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My new quarantine routine

May 2, 2020

I gotta have some routines when working from home and when not really doing anything specific from day to day. This is something I’ve been working on figuring out from day 1 of quarantine.

I know that some of my readers aren’t from Sweden and I’m not going to describe exactly how the Swedish society is facing the pandemic, although plenty of you have probably heard both good and bad news about the strategy here. Shortly put: we’re not in lockdown and we don’t have strict laws forcing us to stay home. The strategy is based on strong recommendations with daily updates of information from experts. At 2PM there are different agencies/departments who provide the latest information, recommendations, etc. at a televised press conference. And the majority of the population follows these recommendations. In general, we are all listening to what is being said. There have been situations, however, where people have started to relax a tad bit too much, and then there are new rules to follow the next day due to that.

We’ve built our society on freedom with a great portion of individual responsibility. That’s always been a big part of Swedish society. And, now, Sweden has, from pretty much the beginning, been careful about shutting down the whole country since this pandemic most likely will go on for a longer period of time, and a total shutdown will not be possible to keep going month after month – due to economy and people’s mental health. I’m not saying this is the best way of facing the pandemic, nor that it is a bad way – we will all see once this is “over”, or when we have a greater distance from it all. This is just a really short description of how Sweden is doing it.

The day before yesterday was Walpurgis Eve /April 30/”Last of April”, which is a huge celebration day in Uppsala where we live. Hundreds of thousands of people are usually out and about, having picnics in parks, celebrating spring. You can read more about it here. It usually looks like this. (<– Google image search of Last of April in Uppsala). Yesterday the city looked like this (<– The article is in Swedish, but focus on the drones videos/images taken – the differences!!!). People listened to the agencies/departments who were telling us to skip the big celebrations 2020, and that makes my soul and heart warm – we can do this!

Pictures from other years during Last of April celebrations, totally “stolen” from Liz’s blog.

Ok, I wasn’t gonna write a lot about the pandemic and Sweden..hehe. Back to where I started, about my new routines. The past weeks, I do believe since Easter, I’ve lost some “discipline”. I don’t like to have rules, and will never really have any since my life existed with so many rules when I was sick with anorexia. I’m over that kind of mindset, and but I like to focus on what makes me feel good right here and now. Therefore, the routines are not based on something I’m gonna do every day, or push me towards some kind of weird spiral down to a dark place. No, this is all based on how to make me feel good inside out, in these times of pandemic.

Starting on Monday, I’ll only work 80% (and not 100%), but thanks to the government of Sweden, I’ll get paid for 96%. This means, I’ll work every day but will get off earlier which actually feels kind of nice now when spring is here and summer is upon us. The evenings are brighter and warmer.

My idea and plan
07.15 AM Wake up
08.00 AM Start to work
12.00 PM Lunch break with a walk outside
15:30 PM Get off

After work hours, I will start taking power walks for at least 45 min (could also be some easy work out at home instead or combined), come home and take a shower, and then cook dinner. After dinner, I’ll do various activities which could be to play the piano, sketch, clean/organize the storage units in the basement, watch Netflix, bake, get out in the car somewhere (out in nature), puzzle, talk with my parents on FaceTime, Zoom with the whole family (it’s hilarious), clean our home, do laundry, spend time in our backyard, and hang out with my brother and his family or two of our friends. In this way I’ll get some physical activity, fresh air, a structured work day, regular meals, and social activities as well. It’s what I need and feel good about right now.

Most important is to wake up and get a feel of what I need that exact day. Do I need to just lay down on the couch and watch Netflix, I’ll do that, and not feel bad about it. I don’t need guilty feelings hovering over me, or negative thoughts about myself right now. I wanna feel as good as I can in this time.

We’ve bought a car and her name is Luna.

May 1, 2020

It’s been a bit crazy lately, where Liz and I have tried to figure out what to do and how to face the pandemic in our everyday lives. We both work from home and have done it for two months soon. We have zero future travel plans ahead to the States or anywhere, which feels surreal since we always go to the States in summer. But unfortunately not this year, which hurts in our souls. I’ve had this “I’m stuck” kind of feeling (who doesn’t, though, right now?) and a huge need for a more “I’m free!” kind of feeling in the midst of everything going on right now in the world. Liz and I love to take road trips, explore unridden, to us, roads, and have just “play-it-by-ear” kinds of plans. To just pack a snack, get in a car and go, is something we’ve missed greatly the past five years in Sweden. BUT as of this week, that has changed, and it feels so good!

Two days ago, we picked up our car, a Toyota CH-R (for those interested), and our lives have truly changed. Not only in owning a car, but in my mind and soul – I nowadays have this kind of freedom-feeling inside of me. Crazy to have to buy a car right now in order to feel that, but..oh, well. Before Luna, which is the car’s name we decided on for her, we’ve been stuck at home since we don’t want to go by bus or train anywhere (and also, where to go right now anyway? Nowhere!). With a car we can now easily get out in nature – drive to the coast and be by the ocean, explore areas we’ve never explored before due to the inconvenience of not having a car and no other transportation possibilities to get to those areas. We’re talking nature spots now since we don’t want to be around any other people than our small click of family (my brother and his family and two friends we’ve been seeing all along during the pandemic.

Luna is freedom to us right now.

Once the pandemic has calmed down and is more under control in the world, we see ourselves going down to my parents and then to continue to the southern part of Sweden and visit my family there and then all of Europe is just a close drive to be under our wheels! Or to drive up to Northern part of Sweden and experience the Midnight sun, visit friends, and just be close to my roots up there (both my grandmas were from southern part of Sweden, my grandad on mom’s side was from up north, and my dad’d dad was from Stockholm – so I have wide range of roots from North to South) Gaaaah, what a dream, and one day, it will be possible, and a little sooner possible with Luna <3

Why Luna? Firstly, because it’s a badass name but too close to Lina so I don’t want to name a possible future baby that. Hehe. Second, it means the moon, which my love has a great special love for, and at the time we bought her, there was a new moon. Perfect, right?

Count on some updates from upcoming road trips. In the beginning just from closer areas here in Uppland (the area Uppsala is in), but once we can move around more, definitely some more longer adventures!

Hope y’all doing ok and stayin’ safe.

Love,
Lina

En vädjan till egoisterna

March 29, 2020

Jag skulle ha varit där nu. Skulle ha haft semester i en vecka och åkt skidor i fjällen. Skulle ha tillbringat tid med min älskade familj som jag inte träffar alltför ofta. Före skidsemestern skulle jag och min fru haft besök av en nära vän från Tyskland som vi inte träffat på länge och innan det skulle vi ha beställt ett nytt kök. Före det, eller månader sedan, hade vi även börjat den största processen i mitt och min frus liv – att blir gravida! Tänka sig att jag precis nämnde det i detta sammanhang först! Nu har jag sagt det till världen, eller ja, till de som faktiskt är här inne och läser och som förstår svenska. Jag kommer skriva mer om vår process framöver för jag/vi vill gärna dela med oss av vår resa att skaffa barn som vi har börjat på och i de dryga två år som gått sedan jag sist bloggade, har jag den senaste tiden saknat en kanal i mitt liv där jag kan uttrycka mig. Jag kommer med andra ord att börja skriva mer här igen, för jag behöver det och då även berätta mer om vår process i att försöka att bli gravida. Men som sagt, det är en annan process och historia. Nu, tillbaka till det jag började skriva om…

Just nu är allt ovisst men jag vet att vi inte ska iväg på vår skidsemester med familjen med start idag. Vår vän från Tyskland kom inte hit och hälsade på oss. Vi har pausat våra köksrenoveringsplaner just nu och avvaktar läget och Reproduktionscentrum utför inga behandlingar i dagsläget och då på obestämd tid framöver. Vi kommer dessutom inte att kunna åka och hälsa på vår familj i USA till sommaren som det ser ut nu och vet inte när vi kommer kunna se dem igen. Den ovissheten är otroligt jobbig, speciellt då vi har en släkting som ligger för döden.

Det är sjukt tråkigt att allt detta sker och jag är ledsen och gråter ibland. Jag HATAR rent ut sagt Covid-19 men det handlar om hälsan nu – om liv och död.

Jag blir uppriktigt sagt otroligt arg, besviken och ledsen när andra skiter i detta och lever på som om det inte fanns någon annan än de själva här i världen, i Norden, i Sverige, i den stora staden eller det mindre samhället. DET om något har satt sina spår i mig. HUR är det ens möjligt att tänka så egoistiskt just nu? 

SNÄLLA, res inte nu. Folhälsomyndighetens rekommendation är att inte resa just nu, vare sig det är till fjällen, din sommarstuga, eller andra ställen. Stanna hemma för att minska smittspridningen i landet! Hoppar vi de sociala sammankomsterna nu, kommer det förhoppningsvis gå snabbare för oss att få tillbaka den vardag vi så gärna vill ha tillbaka. Ge efter med vad ni själva vill ha eller göra nu och få det snabbare tillbaka snart. Fjällen kommer att vara kvar, nästa år. Det kanske inte din mamma eller farmor är. Det är sant. Det händer. Människor dör. Ta det inte som att det bara är en förkylning för dig och ignorera allvaret, för någon annan som tar över din eventuella “förkylning”, kan dö.

Tänk också på vad det innebär för de mindre städerna, samhällena eller byarna som inte har samma resurser som exempelvis Stockholm, Göteborg och Malmö. Trotsar många människor, eller går emot de rekommendationer som finns och som är tillsatta istället för restriktioner, kommer Sverige vara tvunget att ta till restriktioner och ändra lagar tillfälligt åt det hårdare hållet. Vill vi det? Kan vi inte försöka ta ett individansvar nu, ändra våra planer och vårt liv just nu, så att vi snart kan få tillbaka våra liv igen?

Även om ni inte känner av några symptom eller tycker ni är sjuka så KAN NI FORTFARANDE BÄRA PÅ VIRUSET OCH NI KAN BIDRA TILL ATT NÅGON ANNAN BLIR SJUK OCH KANSKE DÖR!!! Bara för att du ville åka skidor, gå på den där puben och dricka en öl, eller gå på den där tillställningen då det ändå ”bara” skulle vara du och 499 andra personer. Tack och lov att denna siffra ändras, från och med idag, till max 50 personer (även om det är lite väl löst bestämt och en kan ifrågasätta en hel del). 

Hur svårt kan det vara att ta hänsyn till fler än dig själv? Snälla, detta är en vädjan till dig som kanske fokuserat lite väl mycket på jaget det senaste tiden. Suck it up och ta ett samhällsansvar nu – för allas hälsa. Det känns skönt att ha skrivit ned detta nu och jag känner att jag behöver runda av detta inlägg för att gå vidare med lite mer positivitet i kroppen. Känner ni att ni själva behöver och vill skriva av er, är kommentarsfältet öppet för tankar, känslor, reaktioner eller vad ni nu känner att ni vill skriva och dela med er utav. Ta hand om er och era medmänniskor <3 Avslutar med ett citat som jag sett cirkulera den senaste tiden;

Jag går till jobbet för din skull, stanna hemma för min skull.

Anne Rosendahl, sjuksköterska

Picking up the pieces

November 2, 2017

This is how I’ve felt lately… separated into different pieces because life turned me in a completely opposite direction then I expected. But you know what? I think that this process that I’ve been forced to go through will actually turn into something amazing – something way better than I could have ever imagined! So even though I’ve felt like I’ve been in split into pieces, I think I’ve put myself together again, one piece at a time. I know where I wanna go, and hopefully how to get there!

I’m gonna find a dream team to work with, in an amazing work place, with fun, interesting, and exciting projects where I get to be creative and have loads of fun! YEAH!

 

(I haven’t mentioned anything about it at all, but in the end of September, I was laid off work due to their bad economy. So I, along with three others, were made to leave. Long story short, there’s still a process going on with that, which I’ll not get in to. But, while not working, I’ve studied a class, gotten a certification in User Experience Design (UX-design), and worked on my portfolio. So now I’m ready to hit the job market again! Wish me luck ♥).

 

burning rose

September 7, 2017

A few weeks ago, our friend Claire from London (and who also was our tv producer of House Hunters International), came for a visit! We had such a great time; and as a thank you for staying with us, she had bought a gift. How sweet and totally not necessary! However, I have to admit, I got really excited because… how amazing is this packaging?! I knew immediately where it came from, from the black and white bag. NK – Nordiska Kompaniet in Stockholm. Americans, think Macy’s in New York City. I loooove how NK wraps their gifts; and, of course, I loved what was inside! Thank you so much, Claire! Ok, let’s check it all out!

gift bag NK

gift NK

gift

Life happened

September 4, 2017

lina_camera

photo credit to Jeremy Trimnal – friend and photographer at Asheville Blog

Hey <3

Last time I posted anything here was our latest podcast episode on May 10th! To blog and record podcasts haven’t been my priority when I’ve needed to put all my energy into life in general. But you know what? It wasn’t anything I’d planned. It just happened. However, I’ve been working on trying to figure out how I want to live my life, and in doing that, I have simply lived. To leave the anorexia behind, focus on what was good for Lina, not the eating disorder. I’m not gonna excuse myself, because I’ve grown so much as a human being during these past months, and that’s freaking amazing. Since I haven’t updated anything here for a while, though, I thought we could do a little recap of each month and what I’ve been up to.

 

wedding

photo credit to another wedding guest

Spring 2017

 

MAY

  • Liz and I road tripped, together with a new friends of ours, in Germany. Well, we flew to Berlin, rented a car and drove about three hours south from Berlin. Our friends were getting married and it was such a beautiful wedding ceremony in an old little church in the middle of the village where our friend grew up. I was also fortunate to be able to sing and play. The wedding reception was also so much fun! Another fun fact, it was also my birthday, so I got to celebrate the beginning of my 34th year out in the country, at a beautiful wedding, in Thüringen, Germany.
  • Back in Sweden, my wife surprised me with dinner out together with my brother, his wife, and a close friend of ours (who’s birthday is just about after mine).
  • I was working on myself a lot this month.
  • We celebrated our version of Memorial Weekend by having a picnic in the big park together with family and friends.
  • The lilacs were blooming, spreading their sweet scent all over town, and summer was on it’s way, along with my excitement.

 

archipelago

livingroom

photo credit to Liz

JUNE

  • Celebrated June 6th (Sweden’s National Day), by drinking beer in some beautiful summer weather.
  • We decided to redo a little interior in our living room by selling our couch, and buying a new one. We are in love with the new look, and how much more spacious it all feels. Score us! (More photos to come!)
  • Was really sad and upset about a “friend” of mine. I tried. Was denied. Got tired, and broke up with the person. Still dealing with this in my heart and soul, because I feel like I never got the chance to really work it out with the person.
  • My cousin graduated from high school in Norrköping and we took the train down to be part of the celebrations.
  • Celebrated Midsummer out in the archipelago together with my wife. I’m still working on a little video, and one day it will be done. Just gotta finish another project first.

 

vsco

vsco

 

JULY

  • Ate endless amounts of strawberries because that’s my absolute favorite thing to eat. At. All. Times.
  • Counted down the beginning of my vacation by celebrating others’ vacations beginning by exploring a new bar in Uppsala with amazing cocktails. Plus an almost 360 degree view of Uppsala. Good stuff.
  • Vacation time which meant going to the States time!
  • Spent our first days in the States, in New York City, hanging out with my American cousin who was doing an internship there during the summer. Explored Upper East Side for the first time (Liz and I try to explore different areas each time we’re there).
  • Flew down to North Carolina and Asheville/Lake Junaluska/Waynesville area. Hung out with family and friends, and drank endless amounts of beer. Because that’s what you do there.

 

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mix

 

AUGUST

  • Flew back to Sweden, WITH MY IN-LAWS! Yes, that was huge since it was their first time in Sweden.
  • Started off in Uppsala with a lot of rest due to jetlag.
  • I started working again, but my first week I “worked from home”, from Norrköping, where we hung out with my parents and Liz’s parents, and toured around e v e r y w h e r e. So great to finally be able to hang out with both our parents in Sweden! They’ve seen each other several times, but in the States when my parents’ have traveled there. Now my parents’ got to host my parents-in-law. So great!
  • Went back to Uppsala and to work in the office. Decided to really work on being there, and not working from home. And as of today, I’ve been there every day three weeks straight. It’s a record. (FYI: I’m on sick leave, only working part time, and haven’t had the energy to work from the office around other people so many days in a row before now). Liz’s parents stayed at my brother’s place, since he and his wife were hiking in Spain, so after work, I hung out with them and toured around Uppsala. My parents came to town, and we all spent a day in Stockholm, toured in Uppsala, and just hung out together. Liz’s parents returned to the States after being in Sweden for three weeks. It’s been empty not having them around..
  • Our friend C from London, who also was our House Hunters International producer, came and stayed with us for a few days. We had so much time, visiting old film locations, eating good food, and drinking beer at Ångkvarn of course (we filmed there).
  • Ended August by going to an outdoor concert, sat on the first row, and listened to Helen Sjöholm and Tomas Andersson Wij <3.

 

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It’s the beginning of September now, fall is creeping up on us, which I actually feel pretty pleased about. Last fall was awful so I have the feeling this is gonna be an amazing fall, way better then last year, with plenty of cozy nights together with friends and family! I also feel my creativity is increasing, so I’ll hopefully take care of that, and do some fun projects.

Welcome, beautiful May!

May 1, 2017

cherry_blossoms

Hey Friends, and welcome back!

I’ve been gone for a while, and with this post, I’m not saying I’m back on a regular basis again, just to warn you. Hehe. However, today, I had the feeling, and the longing to share my thoughts. I truly think I need this space, a channel to share exactly what I’m feeling and thinking. Whenever. However.

It’s first of May today. Also, from now on, called my birthday month! Yeah. I’m turning 33 towards the end of May (20th to be exact), and with that, I’m beginning my 34th year of living. How cool is that? I’ve made it this far, and hopefully have many years to come!

To be honest, I feel like my life is starting all over again, the sickness of my eating disorder is not my whole “life” anymore. There are other things to focus on. I still have a while to walk on the path of being free from it, but almost every day, I’m making progress in leaving it behind me, and it’s such an amazing feeling.

I’m also in a phase where I’m trying to minimilize my life when it comes to stuff. I don’t want to have tons of clothes – I prefer to wear pieces that I know where they come from, have a transparent business (where you know the process of making it and not many middle hands in between). I would much rather pay a little more for quality and good business values, instead of paying a mass company, with horrible working conditions for its employees, and so forth. I’m also making a change of the products I’m using (make up, etc.), to know if it has been tested on animals or not, and what ingredients it has. Ok, I’m not gonna get completely stuck in this subject right now, it can be its own post. However, my point is, that I’m trying to go through things I own, give it away or sell it, in order to own less. My goal is to know exactly everything I own and where it’s placed, to know where it comes from, and the process of making it.

In order to reach some things I really want to aim for, I’ve decided to set up some various goals for the month of May. I thought it could be a neat monthly tradition, where towards the end of the month, I go through my goals and see what I need to give more time doing or scratch from the list, or what I’ve done. No pressure, but pure joy and getting the feeling of working towards what’s important in my life right now. Here we go:

Spring 2017

 

My May Goals

  • Continue going through stuff – get rid of things and organize the rest.
  • Plan a kitchen renovation.
  • Learn more about running a business.
  • Start using Lightroom (a photo editing software) on a regular basis.
  • Cook at least once a week, perhaps twice.
  • Try pole dancing.

 

New week, new energy?

September 12, 2016

Sept. 2016

This past weekend hasn’t been the greatest one in history. I haven’t stepped outside at all, not wanted to show myself for anyone, and just felt anxious and bad. I truly hate when those days come, and I’m not that great at taking care of me/them either. Basically, I just wanted to sleep all the feelings away, which isn’t really good since I probably need to take care and face my emotions/feelings. So I’m gonna try to change the thoughts now…because they’re still there.

Hope you’re having a good beginning of the week ♥