It was your due date today, July 28th and I have had so much anxiety and grief about this day for so long. We know she could have come earlier or later, but today is the day that we were counting down to. Ever since we decided to end the pregnancy, I have pretty much been crying every day at some point since January when we find out about how things were.
Some might think, or have even mistaken, it was a miscarriage. It wasn’t. We had to make the decision on our own, based on what all the tests showed and what the doctors said. It was horrible. We were also pretty far into the pregnancy which made it even worse to end it. It was a birth at the hospital, we held our Peanut and said goodbye to her, and she’s buried in Uppsala now.
This has been and is so hard to handle. All I see is other people being pregnant and having babies. I’m happy for their sake, but it hurts at the same time that we never got to experience it all. It’s also so hard to handle, hearing people talk about their children (which I understand they are and will continue doing and I have to learn to face it and deal with it – but right now I’m super extra sensitive and it’s tough to hear). Everything wasn’t ok with you, Peanut, and I have to keep reminding myself about that and not get stuck in thinking it wasn’t.
Even though I was physically feeling really bad while being pregnant and spent pretty much all of the time in bed/sofa, I miss it terribly and would do anything to be pregnant again. To think that we were three (or four with Zola the cat), to plan what your crib was gonna look and be like, discuss culture differences/similarities, how we wanted to raise you as an American and a Swede – share it all with you. You were gonna be an American and a Swede, have both passports to open up the world to you even more, if you wanted to explore it later on. We had decided to continue to speak English at home and with each other, since society and surroundings are all speaking Swedish. We had talked so much about everything and then it all just crashed.
Your were a tiny little human being who was gonna be named Sonja Ruth Reynolds Eriksson. We love you and forever will keep you in our hearts, little Sonja. 🤍
Hope you’re having an awesome start to the holiday season (if you’re into those kind of things). I must say, Liz and I have made it really cozy here at home with stars in the windows, a Christmas tree that is up and decorated, and last night we drank mulled wine and ate a typical Swedish Christmas saffron bun. When typing this, I’m also listening to Christmas music with candles lit around me; so in other words, the Christmas spirit has arrived, and I love every single bit of it.
We’re celebrating Christmas Eve (the Swedish way) at my parents’ place this year, but flying to the States on the 26th to spend some quality time with my in-laws and friends there. So pretty much the best of both worlds this holiday season, which is super fun!
We decided to film and make a YouTube video while decorating this year, so let’s check it out here below ♥ Happy First of Advent!!
Autumn’s got Liz + Lina feeling all nostalgic. So join them in this episode for a little Q+A about what they were like as kids growing up in two different decades and in two different countries. Find out what happened when they got in trouble, what their best memories are, and how they define family today.
Liz and Lina are back for a second season of their podcast! In today’s episode, hear a tiny bit about what they’ve been up to, but mostly just get geared up for a fun season of laughter, interesting topics, personal stories, tips, and thoughts about living life to the fullest. Grab a beer or a coffee and let’s chat!
As a little love letter in motion digital format, I’ve put together a short video of our time in New York City this summer. Gaaah, love that freaking city so much. And when we’re at it, I would be deeply thankful if you would like to hit that subscribe button on our YouTube channel, liz+lina ♥ Thankyouthankyou
This week Liz + Lina sit down with Andreas Mattisson of Nature by Andreas. He’s a photographer, globe-trotter, magician, and friend. Together they discuss his trips, his upcoming photo book, and the magic of learning to live the best life we can… chasing dreams all around the world. Be prepared to be seriously inspired!
And, Andreas has created a SPECIAL DEAL (for liz+lina listeners) on some AMAZING prints!
Visit www.naturebyandreas.se and use the code “lizlina2017” to get a 20% DISCOUNT on all Fine Art prints. Valid until June 10!
Sit back + relax for the next installment of the Liz + Lina love story! By now you know how we met (listen to Episode 24 if you don’t), so it’s time to hear why + where we fell in love! It’s truly an international, inter-cultural, same-sex story that proves that love is love is love. And you just can’t fight what the heart wants.
It’s been a few weeks since our last chat + a lot of important stuff has happened; so this week Liz + Lina are sitting down to catch you up on everything they’ve been up to, which just so happens to be those things that are the most important parts of life. Today on the podcast!
Liz + Lina have been married for 7 years, but how did they meet?! And where? And when? This week they answer these questions and share some anecdotes from the very beginning of their love story! Plus, daylight savings time comes to Sweden + our weekly challenge updates. All on this week’s episode of the LIZ+LINA podcast!
This week we honestly didn’t really know what to talk about. So, we just started talking. And, you know what? We actually had plenty on our hearts + minds. Hang with us for the next 30 minutes and listen to us wind our way from simply talking about the present moment to truly appreciating it. Plus… a quiet moment of gratitude for grandfathers.