Monthly Archives:

October 2015

Motto

October 10, 2015

one day at a time

I think that this is one of my major mantras and mottos right now in my life.

one day at a time

If people ask me about things coming up several days ahead, I get stressed out, simply because I know how many things that are lying ahead of me that stresses me out. Therefore, it’s really important for me, at least nowadays, to just focus on the day it is. Another reason for this motto is, again, and I can’t stress it enough, to really live in the present and to make the best of it right then. Because that’s all we can do. We can’t change the past, and we don’t know for 100% about the future. But what we have is now. Just a little, but such an important (I think) thought I’d share with you all this Saturday ♥

Hope you’re having a great weekend!

Two Chicks & a Chat 2

October 9, 2015

Episode 2 of Two Chicks & a Chat is now out! In this episode we talk about what we did this past summer, what our everyday life looks like now, and our Halloween plans!

Sorry for the not so good sound and picture quality. We tried a different way of recording it, but hopefully, it won’t be too disturbing, and we’ll try to make it better next time!

PS. For HD quality, check out the video directly on Vimeo → here.

Wednesday peppy?

October 7, 2015

I was gonna write something really peppy, inspiring, and fun…but to be honest, it has been pretty crappy this week so far, and it’s just tough right now, so this Wednesday is just a short note that some days are just like this, but it can just get better then! (Oh, look at that! I sneaked in something peppy!).

Love to you all who patiently come back here and read ♥

A goal succeeded and some new make up in

October 6, 2015

So I believe I mentioned not too long ago about a strategy of mine (or perhaps I didn’t hint about it? anyhow..) when it comes to treatment and motivation. Because even though I want Lina and my life back again, and so forth, the motivation is really hard to find when I’m facing the toughest things right now. So, in order to get some motivation started, I have a strategy in order to reach some goals. I need to structure it a tiny bit more, but in general, the point is that I’m gonna be allowed to buy something, a treat/reward for myself, when I’ve reached a goal. I’m not gonna get into detail with the various goals because I need to organize and structure them a bit more, as I said. However, I reached one goal on Friday last week, and I decided that my reward would be to order make up (which I also needed). This idea to buy something in order for me to reach different goals is not something I’m gonna keep doing forever, because my motivation needs to be based on something more deep than that, but at this point, right now, this is something, an extra push I need, to hopefully experience a deeper and truer motivation later on.

Ok, enough explaining and let’s check out what I bought!

Highlighter Collage
A highlighter (Mystic) from Face Stockholm

Mascara
A black mascara from Make Up Store

Eyebrow Collage
A sharpener from Make Up Store, an eyebrow pen (Mink Brown) from Wet n Wild, and an eyebrow gel from Nyx.

Friday – Saturday – Sunday

October 5, 2015

AVL

Thought of sharing a little summary of the weekend, since I wasn’t really looking forward to it when Friday came along and I was gonna be by myself. I even told my nurse that all I wanted was to lay down in bed and wake up on Monday again. Yes, that’s how I felt about it all. BUT I have to say that the weekend turned out to be way better than I expected and I’m gonna give myself credit for that! Lina vs. eating disorder, 1-0. Bam.

Friday
I actually cancelled my little plan for Friday night, which was to hang out with my cousin. I was so tired after my first week of treatment so I decided to just be by myself at home. It wasn’t that great at all, though, with a lot of anxiety and crap. But I made it through, watched the Swedish Idol, and went to bed in decent time. Zola was really sweet and laid on me when I was falling a sleep (she is in a phase where she’s not hanging out in bed so it was pretty huge that she did that)! She probably felt how I was feeling.

Saturday
I woke up and decided to clean the whole apartment, which took a while. Afterwards, I read blogs, and sat by the computer for a while. Since I had canceled my plans on Friday, my cousin and I decided to see each other on Saturday instead, so she came by and had coffee with me in the afternoon and stayed for some hours. It was really cozy to just be together and chat. She left around 6.30pm, and at 7.30pm, my sister-in-law came by, and later on our friend as well, and the three of us headed to a party. YES! I’d been invited to this party for some weeks now, and was freaking out about it a lot to be honest. However, I discussed and planned it with my nurse on Friday morning, just to make it as safe as possible for me to go if I decided to. With some encouragement from my sister-in-law, I decided to go and I’m SO GLAD I did. They were all so so so sweet, I had a great time, and didn’t come home until pretty late!

Sunday
Slept pretty long due to Saturday night’s adventure, got up, and made plans with my cousin again. It’s so important to me right now to have some plans every now and then, otherwise I’ll just stay home and get even more anti-social and anxious about being out. So around 1pm, we met up with our bikes, and headed out to a store where she was gonna buy shoes, and then we headed over to IKEA and I did some minor shopping. I just stayed home the rest of the day due to exhaustion, with the exception to go and meet up Liz at the train station when she came back to town! So glad she’s home again and everything is back to normal.

I have to say that I think I did pretty good on the social parts during the weekend. There are some other things that didn’t really work out that great, but that’s another story, and something I have to deal with this week.

Such a Music Genius

October 4, 2015

Laleh ♥

She performed at the gala for collecting money for all refugees, called “Hela Sverige Skramlar”, that was shown on TV this past week. She ended the show by singing, a capella, for a full arena. Magical.

The Weekend

October 3, 2015

Tattoo

It’s Saturday morning. Something I used to enjoy, and still do sometimes, but this weekend is hard. Really tough to be honest. I feel like I’m being challenged way too much and too soon, than I’m ready for. I’m in fact home alone (well, Zola is here of course, which is actually pretty awesome, she’s such a good cat) this weekend since Liz is starting her new class, which you can read more about here on her blog. However, there’s no way I wanted her to skip this, and I’m so unbelievably happy and excited for my wife following her dream!

I tried to make some plans with some people this weekend. I truly tried, but haven’t heard from them anything more (yet), since last time I contacted them, so I take it as a sign that they have other plans – probably more fun than hanging out with me anyway, to be honest. If you happen to read this, don’t feel bad about it. Ok. I have also cancelled and rescheduled a few things this weekend, because I have no energy (or the eating disorder told me to…or it could perhaps be both reasons). One would think you get more energy with the food I’m eating at treatment, which I get, but the body is also working hard taking care of it, and therefore I get tired.

I just feel like a piece of shit right now to be honest and I don’t ever wish anyone to ever deal with an eating disorder because it’s hell and not a life to live at all. Yet, here I’m stuck again, in this monster. But I have a fantastic main contact nurse (thank goodness for her!!), a great day treatment group, and I’m lucky to be able to get this help right now in life. Now it’s “just” to take this fight every d*mn meal, every day, every week, every month…

That’s all for now. I don’t really have anything fun to add to this rather depressed post. Oh, I do have one thing! I’m gonna drink coffee with my wonderful cousin later on today, that’s making me smile, and warming my heart. Love and credit to her for wanting to be with me ♥.

Banana Pancake

October 2, 2015

Not too long ago, I tried, for me, something new. It’s been pretty hyped-up for a long time here in Sweden, but I hadn’t gotten my way around to test it out until a couple of weeks ago. Banana pancakes it is. You take one banana, one egg, mix it, and fry it. I also added some vanilla powder in mine, and on top, I put cocoanut flakes and vanilla flavored “kvarg” (quark – a type of curd cheese). I thought it was yummy and a great substitute for regular pancakes that has flour in it, which I’m a bit sensitive to. Today’s tip for a snack, dessert, or whatever you prefer!

Banana Pancake

Banana Pancake

Make the best of now

October 1, 2015

Josefin och Vanja

I really enjoy listening to podcasts and have been stuck lately with various documentaries and criminal cases – both solved and unsolved. But, to balance all the sad and hard subjects, I’ve started listening to more of peppy, life-filled podcasts, and I thought of sharing the latest series I’ve been listening to. It’s in Swedish so might be hard for non-Swedish speaking blog readers to understand, but I highly recommend you to continue reading this post anyway!

As I said, this podcast is focusing on life subjects (decided on by their blog readers!)- episodes such as, living situations, career, anxiety, q&a, love, family, blog life, fall, fashion, make up, feel-good, travel, dreams..you know, pretty much everything in life. Love it, especially because both of the two girls who are talking are so inspiring – Vanja Wikström (an entrepreneur) and Josefin Dahlberg (the chief editor).

In one of the podcasts, the Dream episode, Vanja and Josefin talked about their dreams; the ones they had as kids, but also their dreams for today. And one of the things they talked about was so freaking pepp for me to hear since it’s something I think a lot about.

For me, I have always focused on the past or focused on the future, but forgotten in some way about the present. I have always dreamt about a different time instead of really appreciating now.

Vanja said something so good.. Her goal is to enjoy everyday life. The absolute most important for her is a home, a relationship, work, and being around people she enjoys spending time with. That’s what life is all about. And I agree. Of course, going on vacation is fun, we’re gone for a little while, and have a wonderful time, but that’s not our everyday life.

I think this is the core of what life is about: being happy in our everyday life and not focusing every day and every moment on thinking about what’s past or what’s coming next. It’s not our life in a sense. You get it? That’s not where the main, deep deep focus needs to be in life. Because that’s not where we are the majority of our time in life. The important thing is to be in the present. Now.

I know that I have things that have happened in my past that I need to talk some about, and I will when I feel ready to. Of course, we can also dream about trips, or stuff in the future, but we don’t have to dwell too much on the future either, because life is now. This, perhaps, might sound obvious for some of you, but for me, it has been a really good reminder, and something I’ll try to be aware of and focus on in life.

 

Do the best of where you are now. Make the best of where you are.
Josefin

Make the best of your situation.
Vanja

 

That’s what I’m gonna work on more from now on!


You can find all the podcast episodes here.

Vanja’s blog

Josefin’s blog