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Lier

July 28th đŸ€

July 28, 2021

It was your due date today, July 28th and I have had so much anxiety and grief about this day for so long. We know she could have come earlier or later, but today is the day that we were counting down to. Ever since we decided to end the pregnancy, I have pretty much been crying every day at some point since January when we find out about how things were.

Some might think, or have even mistaken, it was a miscarriage. It wasn’t. We had to make the decision on our own, based on what all the tests showed and what the doctors said. It was horrible. We were also pretty far into the pregnancy which made it even worse to end it. It was a birth at the hospital, we held our Peanut and said goodbye to her, and she’s buried in Uppsala now.

This has been and is so hard to handle. All I see is other people being pregnant and having babies. I’m happy for their sake, but it hurts at the same time that we never got to experience it all. It’s also so hard to handle, hearing people talk about their children (which I understand they are and will continue doing and I have to learn to face it and deal with it – but right now I’m super extra sensitive and it’s tough to hear). Everything wasn’t ok with you, Peanut, and I have to keep reminding myself about that and not get stuck in thinking it wasn’t.

Even though I was physically feeling really bad while being pregnant and spent pretty much all of the time in bed/sofa, I miss it terribly and would do anything to be pregnant again. To think that we were three (or four with Zola the cat), to plan what your crib was gonna look and be like, discuss culture differences/similarities, how we wanted to raise you as an American and a Swede – share it all with you. You were gonna be an American and a Swede, have both passports to open up the world to you even more, if you wanted to explore it later on. We had decided to continue to speak English at home and with each other, since society and surroundings are all speaking Swedish. We had talked so much about everything and then it all just crashed.

Your were a tiny little human being who was gonna be named Sonja Ruth Reynolds Eriksson. We love you and forever will keep you in our hearts, little Sonja. đŸ€

It’s still pretty tough – a life update.

April 10, 2021

It’s been almost two months since my last post about our little Peanut, who we sadly had to say goodbye to on February 3rd. The days are moving on with a bunch of work (I have a new job since the beginning of December 2020 since I lost my other job due to the Covid-19 situation in the world back in August the same year) and also some major preparations. Not too long after February 3rd, Liz and I decided we needed a major change in our lives, a fresh new start, and a focus/project during spring as we’re facing a spring and summer far different than we first thought by not expecting a baby anymore.

I’m still crying pretty much every day over our dream that never happened. I’m still being reminded by various milestones, such as entering half way in pregnancy, earlier scheduled times with midwife, classes we were going to participate in, stuff we were going to purchase, preparations in the home we were going to do, and so forth. Not to mention all the strollers, pregnant women, and babies that are out there to see – in real life and on social media. I’m happy for their sake, but it still hurts in my heart and soul, and it’s still pretty hard to deal with to be honest. But it hasn’t been that long since we ended the pregnancy and I can’t be too hard on myself. I’m so thankful for having Liz in my life, the counselor we’re seeing together, and my therapist I’m seeing by myself. Also my amazing parents who are supporting me and keeping up with my freak outs of grief on a regular basis as well. It is what it is. I have to accept it, and try to move on in life even though I feel I don’t have the right to do that since Peanut never got the chance to do so. We don’t regret our decision and we know it was the best for all of us…still, of course, it hurts. So much.

As I wrote earlier, we’re doing some major changes and preparations in life right now. We’re moving this summer to Norrköping. The plan is to get our apartment up for sale in the beginning of May, and it will hopefully be sold by summer (fingers crossed). We’ve been fortunate with great luck and amazing timing to get hold of our almost dream apartment in downtown Norrköping. It’s bigger than the one we own now, has a huge balcony with a great view of the whole city, right in the middle of downtown so close to everything, and there is also some other great convenient stuff we want to have. It feels so good. We need this change. If you know or remember, we actually used to live in Norrköping back from 2010 to 2013. However, it was a pretty dark period in my life where I was really sick with anorexia, so we haven’t been able to really enjoy the city for real. We’re also going to be closer to more family and friends (although it’s really sad to have to leave some other family here in Uppsala – but we’ll come back and visit, for sure). I’m gonna be able to focus and do a lot of more music in my life, which I’m really looking forward to. Singing in a choir again and to taking private singing lessons, are already on my agenda and I’ve booked a voice coach. So exciting! I’m also gonna be able to still see my therapist since she’s also offering online sessions, and has a clinic in Stockholm as well, which I might go to on a regular basis.

As I mentioned earlier I’d gotten a new job back in December, and I was feeling really bad a day back a few weeks ago when I thought I was gonna have to give my notice..but my boss totally offered me to still keep it but to work from Norrköping instead. How perfect!! I love my new job, but my newest client (I work as a UX-designer consultant), is in Stockholm – therefore, it could be some trips to the big city whenever the pandemic is letting us, which isn’t too far from Norrköping.

So all in all. Things are moving on in the midst of the grieving process.

Peanut, you will never be forgotten đŸ€

February 14, 2021

Our journey to you started about two years ago. There were many visits to the hospital, tests to take, conversations to have, and a bunch of excitement. It was hopefully going to happen now, finally!

There were several bumps and roller coaster rides along the way but, in the beginning of November of 2020, it seemed to have worked!!! November 17th. The test day was here and IT WAS POSITIVE – WE WERE PREGNANT đŸ€ Our excitement was beyond words and we were flying on clouds of happiness.

Then the adventure of being pregnant started. I felt so nauseous and sick in a way that I could have never imagined. But it was all worth it, I thought. I ended up spending a little more than 3 months in bed or on the sofa (in some ways the pandemic “helped” us since I could work from home then). But, Liz had to take care of everything – from serving me the little I could eat, to cleaning the apartment, doing all the laundry, and she couldn’t even touch me because the touch/movement would make me puke. It was pretty bad, to say the least. But, the excitement kept us going. Peanut, our “working name” for the baby was worth everything đŸ€ 

We documented every week by taking pictures and videos.

January 19th, 2021
Mid January came and we (or I, Lina, since Liz was not allowed at the hospital due to the pandemic restrictions – she was fully healthy though) were going to check on Peanut and during the ultrasound we found out everything didn’t quite look ok. We got the worst possible result on the test with a 50/50 percent chance that Peanut wasn’t going to be healthy. The stats were 1:2. One out of 2 babies would be healthy. A 50/50 chance. Not good odds. We were devastated and we started to live in this weird fog of worries. The hospital booked us to do more tests just a couple of days later, and when the day came Liz was finally allowed to be part of it and was able to see Peanut for the first time. I had already been blessed to see Peanut two times at that point (week 8 and 13). Liz cried at how amazing Peanut was. I was nervous about the tests I/we were facing. But it was all beautiful, even though the reason for the tests were all a big chunk of worries.

The test results were going to be reported to us by phone, no matter the result – positive or negative, 2-3 days later (but it was Friday so we had to wait an additional two days). Those waiting days were some of the toughest days in my life. I could not think of anything else. I did not function (even more so with the nausea).

Week 14 after the additional tests.

January 26th, 2021
On Tuesday January 26th at 1:18PM the phone rang. It was bad news. Peanut had some chromosome abnormalities and with that there would most likely tag along several other complications. We were now pregnant in week 14 and had entered the second trimester. It was exactly the time (or actually a week before that) that we had planned to announce our pregnancy. It was exactly the time that we had planned to start buying a few things in order to prep for Peanut’s arrival (July 28th, 2021Â đŸ€). But, instead of celebrating and announcing, we were now faced with the decision to end the pregnancy or to go through with it and hope that the baby would be healthy enough to live. What we did know, though, was that Peanut already had some serious health issues. We were in complete shock for days. All of it surreal and crushing. So, we sat with it and just let all of our feelings and thoughts flow for a few days.

February 1st, 2021
We scheduled another appointment with a doctor for further discussions some days later. I talked with a counselor which we are seeing from now on, and then after meeting with a specialist together, Liz and I decided for Peanut’s sake and for our own, that it was the best to end the pregnancy. It was the hardest decision we have ever made and we were devastated. This wasn’t the way we wanted this journey to end. Our dreams were crushed. We started the ending process, and while I’ve been through some tough days in my life, I can say that these days have, by far, been the worst days in our lives. When you’ve come this far in the pregnancy (about to enter week 16), it’s a birthing process at the hospital. The difference is that you don’t get to go home with your baby…

We were terrified and devastated, but, we did it all. Together. We were able to see and hold you, little Peanut, and you were so beautiful in your own little way. And then we said goodbye.

February 3rd, 2021 – the day with said goodbye to you, Peanut.

Even though just a short time has passed and we are now deep in our grief, we wanted to share this story to honor our beloved Peanut, our girl who we had several names planned for, and who we were expecting to meet in July this coming summer. Peanut, you will never be forgotten. We love you and we dug deep into our souls to do what we thought was the best for you and for us.Â đŸ€

With great and forever love, 
Mamma Lina & Mommy Liz

My new quarantine routine

May 2, 2020

I gotta have some routines when working from home and when not really doing anything specific from day to day. This is something I’ve been working on figuring out from day 1 of quarantine.

I know that some of my readers aren’t from Sweden and I’m not going to describe exactly how the Swedish society is facing the pandemic, although plenty of you have probably heard both good and bad news about the strategy here. Shortly put: we’re not in lockdown and we don’t have strict laws forcing us to stay home. The strategy is based on strong recommendations with daily updates of information from experts. At 2PM there are different agencies/departments who provide the latest information, recommendations, etc. at a televised press conference. And the majority of the population follows these recommendations. In general, we are all listening to what is being said. There have been situations, however, where people have started to relax a tad bit too much, and then there are new rules to follow the next day due to that.

We’ve built our society on freedom with a great portion of individual responsibility. That’s always been a big part of Swedish society. And, now, Sweden has, from pretty much the beginning, been careful about shutting down the whole country since this pandemic most likely will go on for a longer period of time, and a total shutdown will not be possible to keep going month after month – due to economy and people’s mental health. I’m not saying this is the best way of facing the pandemic, nor that it is a bad way – we will all see once this is “over”, or when we have a greater distance from it all. This is just a really short description of how Sweden is doing it.

The day before yesterday was Walpurgis Eve /April 30/”Last of April”, which is a huge celebration day in Uppsala where we live. Hundreds of thousands of people are usually out and about, having picnics in parks, celebrating spring. You can read more about it here. It usually looks like this. (<– Google image search of Last of April in Uppsala). Yesterday the city looked like this (<– The article is in Swedish, but focus on the drones videos/images taken – the differences!!!). People listened to the agencies/departments who were telling us to skip the big celebrations 2020, and that makes my soul and heart warm – we can do this!

Pictures from other years during Last of April celebrations, totally “stolen” from Liz’s blog.

Ok, I wasn’t gonna write a lot about the pandemic and Sweden..hehe. Back to where I started, about my new routines. The past weeks, I do believe since Easter, I’ve lost some “discipline”. I don’t like to have rules, and will never really have any since my life existed with so many rules when I was sick with anorexia. I’m over that kind of mindset, and but I like to focus on what makes me feel good right here and now. Therefore, the routines are not based on something I’m gonna do every day, or push me towards some kind of weird spiral down to a dark place. No, this is all based on how to make me feel good inside out, in these times of pandemic.

Starting on Monday, I’ll only work 80% (and not 100%), but thanks to the government of Sweden, I’ll get paid for 96%. This means, I’ll work every day but will get off earlier which actually feels kind of nice now when spring is here and summer is upon us. The evenings are brighter and warmer.

My idea and plan
07.15 AM Wake up
08.00 AM Start to work
12.00 PM Lunch break with a walk outside
15:30 PM Get off

After work hours, I will start taking power walks for at least 45 min (could also be some easy work out at home instead or combined), come home and take a shower, and then cook dinner. After dinner, I’ll do various activities which could be to play the piano, sketch, clean/organize the storage units in the basement, watch Netflix, bake, get out in the car somewhere (out in nature), puzzle, talk with my parents on FaceTime, Zoom with the whole family (it’s hilarious), clean our home, do laundry, spend time in our backyard, and hang out with my brother and his family or two of our friends. In this way I’ll get some physical activity, fresh air, a structured work day, regular meals, and social activities as well. It’s what I need and feel good about right now.

Most important is to wake up and get a feel of what I need that exact day. Do I need to just lay down on the couch and watch Netflix, I’ll do that, and not feel bad about it. I don’t need guilty feelings hovering over me, or negative thoughts about myself right now. I wanna feel as good as I can in this time.

We’ve bought a car and her name is Luna.

May 1, 2020

It’s been a bit crazy lately, where Liz and I have tried to figure out what to do and how to face the pandemic in our everyday lives. We both work from home and have done it for two months soon. We have zero future travel plans ahead to the States or anywhere, which feels surreal since we always go to the States in summer. But unfortunately not this year, which hurts in our souls. I’ve had this “I’m stuck” kind of feeling (who doesn’t, though, right now?) and a huge need for a more “I’m free!” kind of feeling in the midst of everything going on right now in the world. Liz and I love to take road trips, explore unridden, to us, roads, and have just “play-it-by-ear” kinds of plans. To just pack a snack, get in a car and go, is something we’ve missed greatly the past five years in Sweden. BUT as of this week, that has changed, and it feels so good!

Two days ago, we picked up our car, a Toyota CH-R (for those interested), and our lives have truly changed. Not only in owning a car, but in my mind and soul – I nowadays have this kind of freedom-feeling inside of me. Crazy to have to buy a car right now in order to feel that, but..oh, well. Before Luna, which is the car’s name we decided on for her, we’ve been stuck at home since we don’t want to go by bus or train anywhere (and also, where to go right now anyway? Nowhere!). With a car we can now easily get out in nature – drive to the coast and be by the ocean, explore areas we’ve never explored before due to the inconvenience of not having a car and no other transportation possibilities to get to those areas. We’re talking nature spots now since we don’t want to be around any other people than our small click of family (my brother and his family and two friends we’ve been seeing all along during the pandemic.

Luna is freedom to us right now.

Once the pandemic has calmed down and is more under control in the world, we see ourselves going down to my parents and then to continue to the southern part of Sweden and visit my family there and then all of Europe is just a close drive to be under our wheels! Or to drive up to Northern part of Sweden and experience the Midnight sun, visit friends, and just be close to my roots up there (both my grandmas were from southern part of Sweden, my grandad on mom’s side was from up north, and my dad’d dad was from Stockholm – so I have wide range of roots from North to South) Gaaaah, what a dream, and one day, it will be possible, and a little sooner possible with Luna <3

Why Luna? Firstly, because it’s a badass name but too close to Lina so I don’t want to name a possible future baby that. Hehe. Second, it means the moon, which my love has a great special love for, and at the time we bought her, there was a new moon. Perfect, right?

Count on some updates from upcoming road trips. In the beginning just from closer areas here in Uppland (the area Uppsala is in), but once we can move around more, definitely some more longer adventures!

Hope y’all doing ok and stayin’ safe.

Love,
Lina

En vÀdjan till egoisterna

March 29, 2020

Jag skulle ha varit dĂ€r nu. Skulle ha haft semester i en vecka och Ă„kt skidor i fjĂ€llen. Skulle ha tillbringat tid med min Ă€lskade familj som jag inte trĂ€ffar alltför ofta. Före skidsemestern skulle jag och min fru haft besök av en nĂ€ra vĂ€n frĂ„n Tyskland som vi inte trĂ€ffat pĂ„ lĂ€nge och innan det skulle vi ha bestĂ€llt ett nytt kök. Före det, eller mĂ„nader sedan, hade vi Ă€ven börjat den största processen i mitt och min frus liv – att blir gravida! TĂ€nka sig att jag precis nĂ€mnde det i detta sammanhang först! Nu har jag sagt det till vĂ€rlden, eller ja, till de som faktiskt Ă€r hĂ€r inne och lĂ€ser och som förstĂ„r svenska. Jag kommer skriva mer om vĂ„r process framöver för jag/vi vill gĂ€rna dela med oss av vĂ„r resa att skaffa barn som vi har börjat pĂ„ och i de dryga tvĂ„ Ă„r som gĂ„tt sedan jag sist bloggade, har jag den senaste tiden saknat en kanal i mitt liv dĂ€r jag kan uttrycka mig. Jag kommer med andra ord att börja skriva mer hĂ€r igen, för jag behöver det och dĂ„ Ă€ven berĂ€tta mer om vĂ„r process i att försöka att bli gravida. Men som sagt, det Ă€r en annan process och historia. Nu, tillbaka till det jag började skriva om…

Just nu Àr allt ovisst men jag vet att vi inte ska ivÀg pÄ vÄr skidsemester med familjen med start idag. VÄr vÀn frÄn Tyskland kom inte hit och hÀlsade pÄ oss. Vi har pausat vÄra köksrenoveringsplaner just nu och avvaktar lÀget och Reproduktionscentrum utför inga behandlingar i dagslÀget och dÄ pÄ obestÀmd tid framöver. Vi kommer dessutom inte att kunna Äka och hÀlsa pÄ vÄr familj i USA till sommaren som det ser ut nu och vet inte nÀr vi kommer kunna se dem igen. Den ovissheten Àr otroligt jobbig, speciellt dÄ vi har en slÀkting som ligger för döden.

Det Ă€r sjukt trĂ„kigt att allt detta sker och jag Ă€r ledsen och grĂ„ter ibland. Jag HATAR rent ut sagt Covid-19 men det handlar om hĂ€lsan nu – om liv och död.

Jag blir uppriktigt sagt otroligt arg, besviken och ledsen nĂ€r andra skiter i detta och lever pĂ„ som om det inte fanns nĂ„gon annan Ă€n de sjĂ€lva hĂ€r i vĂ€rlden, i Norden, i Sverige, i den stora staden eller det mindre samhĂ€llet. DET om nĂ„got har satt sina spĂ„r i mig. HUR Ă€r det ens möjligt att tĂ€nka sĂ„ egoistiskt just nu? 

SNÄLLA, res inte nu. FolhĂ€lsomyndighetens rekommendation Ă€r att inte resa just nu, vare sig det Ă€r till fjĂ€llen, din sommarstuga, eller andra stĂ€llen. Stanna hemma för att minska smittspridningen i landet! Hoppar vi de sociala sammankomsterna nu, kommer det förhoppningsvis gĂ„ snabbare för oss att fĂ„ tillbaka den vardag vi sĂ„ gĂ€rna vill ha tillbaka. Ge efter med vad ni sjĂ€lva vill ha eller göra nu och fĂ„ det snabbare tillbaka snart. FjĂ€llen kommer att vara kvar, nĂ€sta Ă„r. Det kanske inte din mamma eller farmor Ă€r. Det Ă€r sant. Det hĂ€nder. MĂ€nniskor dör. Ta det inte som att det bara Ă€r en förkylning för dig och ignorera allvaret, för nĂ„gon annan som tar över din eventuella “förkylning”, kan dö.

TĂ€nk ocksĂ„ pĂ„ vad det innebĂ€r för de mindre stĂ€derna, samhĂ€llena eller byarna som inte har samma resurser som exempelvis Stockholm, Göteborg och Malmö. Trotsar mĂ„nga mĂ€nniskor, eller gĂ„r emot de rekommendationer som finns och som Ă€r tillsatta istĂ€llet för restriktioner, kommer Sverige vara tvunget att ta till restriktioner och Ă€ndra lagar tillfĂ€lligt Ă„t det hĂ„rdare hĂ„llet. Vill vi det? Kan vi inte försöka ta ett individansvar nu, Ă€ndra vĂ„ra planer och vĂ„rt liv just nu, sĂ„ att vi snart kan fĂ„ tillbaka vĂ„ra liv igen?

Även om ni inte kĂ€nner av nĂ„gra symptom eller tycker ni Ă€r sjuka sĂ„ KAN NI FORTFARANDE BÄRA PÅ VIRUSET OCH NI KAN BIDRA TILL ATT NÅGON ANNAN BLIR SJUK OCH KANSKE DÖR!!! Bara för att du ville Ă„ka skidor, gĂ„ pĂ„ den dĂ€r puben och dricka en öl, eller gĂ„ pĂ„ den dĂ€r tillstĂ€llningen dĂ„ det Ă€ndĂ„ ”bara” skulle vara du och 499 andra personer. Tack och lov att denna siffra Ă€ndras, frĂ„n och med idag, till max 50 personer (Ă€ven om det Ă€r lite vĂ€l löst bestĂ€mt och en kan ifrĂ„gasĂ€tta en hel del). 

Hur svĂ„rt kan det vara att ta hĂ€nsyn till fler Ă€n dig sjĂ€lv? SnĂ€lla, detta Ă€r en vĂ€djan till dig som kanske fokuserat lite vĂ€l mycket pĂ„ jaget det senaste tiden. Suck it up och ta ett samhĂ€llsansvar nu – för allas hĂ€lsa. Det kĂ€nns skönt att ha skrivit ned detta nu och jag kĂ€nner att jag behöver runda av detta inlĂ€gg för att gĂ„ vidare med lite mer positivitet i kroppen. KĂ€nner ni att ni sjĂ€lva behöver och vill skriva av er, Ă€r kommentarsfĂ€ltet öppet för tankar, kĂ€nslor, reaktioner eller vad ni nu kĂ€nner att ni vill skriva och dela med er utav. Ta hand om er och era medmĂ€nniskor <3 Avslutar med ett citat som jag sett cirkulera den senaste tiden;

Jag gÄr till jobbet för din skull, stanna hemma för min skull.

Anne Rosendahl, sjuksköterska

a get to know me list

January 15, 2018

Holiday season

1. How are you?
Thirty-three.

2. How old do you feel?
Like thirty-three, but sometimes I feel a few years younger, and then I realize how many years have actually passed in real life.

3. Where do you live?
I live in an apartment in Uppsala, Sweden, together with my wife. We bought it in March 2016.

4. What have you done today?
It’s Saturday evening and I haven’t actually done that much today. Woke up around 9, drank coffee, watched YouTube, finished the series “Dark”, fixed a little in the apartment, but mostly been relaxed.

Lina & the garden.

5. Summer, fall, winter, or spring – what do you prefer, and why?
I think late spring with summer just ahead of us. But I do love each season’s uniqueness; like the all of the fall colors, winter coziness, endless summer nights, and spring when everything is so green.

6. Are you addicted to something?
Acknowledgement, love, the Internet, chocolate, and coffee.

7. Mention three things people might not know about you?
1. I’m a super organized person who wants it over-the-top clean around me. So, I actually have to have goals to not clean everyday, but perhaps once a week at the most.
2. I took riding lessons for almost 10 years as a kid and teenager.
3. I’ve spent more than a year in the hospital, in total, throughout my life so far. (due to treatment of Anorexia and surgeries for my birth defect).

vsco

8. Where in the world would you like to be right now?
At a beach in Bali with my wife.

9. How are you feeling right now?
Relaxed.

10. What’s your favorit candy?
Chocolate.

11. Your favorite store(s)?
Weekday, Zara, Granit, Crate & Barrel, Michael’s, and West Elm.

Me and a view of Manhattan 1

12. Are you a morning or evening person?
More of an evening person than a morning person, I think. However, I’m pretty even – not going to bed that late, but not getting up that early either.

13. Have you had any stitches?
Yes, my face, my right leg, and in my mouth.

14. Who did something extra special for you last?
My parents and my wife’s parents.

vsco

15. Are you shy?
Nope, I don’t see myself as shy. I can talk with pretty much whomever, in front of lots of people, or individuals. But I do get a little nervous every now and then. Especially when performing (singing and playing the piano) during an important situations (funeral, wedding etc.).

16. What’s your middle name(s)?
Maria and Viktoria, because my parents liked the names.

17. Would you like to get married?
I am married. December 26th 2009! Still going strong ♄

List from Flora!

January 2018

January 13, 2018

 

Happy New Year ♄
First post of the year, folks!

I’ve celebrated Christmas with my Swedish family in my hometown, and a couple of days later, Liz and I flew to the States, and celebrated a belated Christmas and then New Years Eve with our American family and friends! We’re now back in Sweden, Liz is back at work, and I’m working on figuring out a few next steps for me in life, which sounds pretty serious (and it is actually pretty important and big to me).

Let’s say, 2017 turned into a lot of unexpected turns, which forced me into some new beginnings. It’s been a roller coaster the past months to say at least, but I’m finally beginning to see the end of the ride.

I was laid off work this past fall and it wasn’t handled good at all by my former company. I’ve been struggling getting my rights upheld – my legal rights- and there has been a lot of annoying waiting time and more unexpected turns. It’s been exhausting!! However, I’m actually glad it happened to me, because it has forced me to move on to what I now believe are way better things. I cannot stress hard enough how excited I am for my new adventures coming up. It’s close to being pretty clear now! Once the contract is signed, I’ll let you know, but I do have a job offer, actually possibly two job offers, and I’m beyond excited!

So a new year, a new job coming up soon, and I’m feeling better than ever! I think I’m gonna write a post where I make a list of things I wanna do/do more of in 2018. But that’s gotta be a different post, I believe. Just wanted to say hi now, and yes, my blog is back on the regular address, and you’ll find my portfolio linked up in the main menu. I’ve also fixed a new header, as you probably have noticed already. A few small changes, but they do feel pretty darn good, I think.

 

USA winter 17/18

2017

December 31, 2017

2017_yearsummery

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?
We were on a TV-show, House Hunters International, that aired in the States! So we were on American TV – crazy!! It was the first year that we didn’t go to the Swedish archipelago or the beach in the States. I didn’t have that much vacation… but, Liz’s parent’s came to Sweden and we showed them around!! And, also… I was laid off from work.

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I usually don’t make any resolutions, but I will write down some wishes for myself that I’m gonna work on! I did reach one goal – to get healthy! The most important thing in the whole world!

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one really close, but a few!

summer times

Did anyone close to you die?
Too many died in 2016, so I’ve been fortunate to not lose any close ones in 2017 ♄

What countries did you visit?
USA three times. We started the year in Maine, went to New York City and North Carolina for 2.5 weeks in summer, and then ended the year in North Carolina. We visited our amazing friend, and her cute son in Ireland, and went to Germany for our friends’ wedding in the end of May.

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
A new job and a chance to hang out more with friends. Plus, travel abroad more.

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What days from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory?
When our friends got married. When I was laid off work. When Liz’s family came for visits ♄

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My health!

What was the best thing(s) you bought?
The trips to Ireland, Germany, and the States! My Nintendo Switch and my MacBook.

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What was your biggest failure?
Perhaps to not have as healthy of a lifestyle as I wanted to. Take walks, work-out, eat better and so forth. But I’ve been mentally tired, so I’ve needed a lot of rest and recovery time on the couch with Netflix.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, thank goodness!! The only thing that happen was a migraine I got one time, like I’ve never experienced before.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Liz, my parents and Liz’s parents. Liz for always being there for me, my amazing wife. My parent’s for good advice and patiently listening to my phone calls filled with thoughts, cries, and questions. Liz’s parents’ for always being there and deciding to pay a trip for us to the States over New Years.

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Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My old job.

Where did most of your money go?
Flight tickets and food. Oh, and my Nintendo Switch and MacBook!

What are you really, really, really excited about?
To get a new job!! To travel to some new places in the world, go to the archipelago and beach week 2017 with the American family!! Perhaps fix our apartment a little (closets).

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Travel. Been in contact with friends. Creative stuff.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying.

What song will always remind you of 2017?
» The Hamilton Soundtrack
» Oscar Linnros: Psalm för skolgÄrdar
» 
SĂ€kert!: Allting flyter
» Declan Flynn:  Come Down
» Laleh: Let it Fall

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How did you be spend Christmas?
In Norrköping, Sweden at my parents’ house and at my sister’s house. Flew to the States just a couple of days later to celebrate a delayed Christmas there and New Years with friends ♄

What was your favorite month(s) of 2017?
July/August – we went to the States and then Liz’s parents flew back to Sweden with us!

Did you fall in love in 2017?
Yes, even more with Liz, my wife for eight years ♄

liz

What was your favorite TV program?
VĂ€rldens tuffaste jobb with Carina Berg and Wahlgrens VĂ€rld. However, I’m not really watching that much TV. Mostly documentaries and TV-series on Netflix and HBO Nordic.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t do the hating. But I do feel anger towards a few.

What was the best book you read?
Oops. I haven’t read that many books…gotta work on that. 2017 has been the year of podcasts for me.

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What (was the best) serie(s) you watched?
The Walking Dead, Fear the Walking Dead, Outlander, The Fosters, Greenleaf, Stranger Things, The Good Wife, Shooter, The OA, American Odyssey, Glitch, Good Witch, Alias Grace, Godless, Narcos, Captive, Anne with an E, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, 13 Reasons Why, Jessica Jones, Orphan Black, Ozark, Limitless, Scorpion, Doctor Foster, Big Little Lies, The Good Fight, Designated Survivor, and probably a few more I’ve forgotten now.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Hamilton Soundtrack

What did you want and get?
Good health, a UX-design certification, Nintendo Switch, and a MacBook! Oh, and a possible new job (not 100% sure yet though..)!! A girls weekend in a summer house together with old friends!

Girls weekend in the archipelago <3

What did you want and not get?
Some trips and an iMac.

What was your favorite film of this year?
Have no idea. Watched mostly series (obviously!), so check the above list of series ↑

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33 and celebrated it by attending my friends wedding in Germany! An amazing wedding in an old church in a small idyllic village in the middle of beautiful nature. Great people and I got to sing and play at the wedding ceremony! Before my actual birthday, Liz, my brother and his wife, surprised me with a dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in town – Jay Fu!

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What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
To not have to go through the crappy process of being laid off work.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?
High raised jeans, t-shirts (long and short ones), cozy sweaters, and sneakers. Also a bunch of cozy clothes since Iv’ve been home a lot.

What kept you sane?
Liz and my psychologist(s). My parents. Listening to music, studying, creating, taking pictures, filming, playing video games, hanging out with friends and family.

Stan Smith

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Several people who live a creative life in various ways – they’re not true celebrities in the way you think of celebrities though..hehe!

What political issue stirred you the most?
Donald Trump.

Who did you miss?
Friends and family ♄

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Who was the best “new” person (people) you met?
People in the same/similar job or business area I’m in. So. Much. Fun. So many great souls with a passion for design/UX-design. A friend of our friend who got married in Germany. We road tripped together in Germany and had a blast! Also, we got to hang out with our producer director (nowadays our dear friend) from House Hunters International. Had so much fun!

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017
Don’t waste your energy on some people who you’ll never get energy from (the same as last year and the year before that, and the year before that..hehe) and to get healthy and free will take its time BUT IT’S SO WORTH IT! By losing my job, I’ve realized how freaking awesome I am. Hehe. I mean, I’ve learned so much about laws, my rights, others’ rights/mistakes, what I can do, how easily I learn stuff, how good I am at writing stuff, explaining stuff, sharing my knowledge, and what strength I have inside of me! I can do whatever! BAAAAAM! Screw “jantelagen“!

Earlier year summaries
2016
2015
2014
2013
2011