As I will never forget, April 12th, 2013 (which I wrote about here), I will also never forget May 9th, 2012.
Everything started with a doctor’s appointment to check on how I was doing since my Anorexia Nervosa had gotten worse. That doctor’s appointment turned into being admitted to the hospital under the law (which means I couldn’t decide to leave whenever, because I was too sick = I was committed). As I did last year, I spent my birthday at the hospital, had to cancel a trip to Paris, completely missed the spring, and the beginning of the summer. Every day was a really big war inside of me, filled with anxiety, depression, anorexic thoughts, and obsessive behaviors. I was a wreck. But with small steps, a lot of support from professionals, and my amazing wife, I got better. Not free from Anorexia Nervosa, but more stable. It was gonna take another 1.5 years for me to recover to the stage I am today. But being sick with an eating disorder for so many years, it takes a while to get better, and I’m still recovering as of today.
My bed in my room. I asked if I could get a second pillow, and an amazing nurse brought me three to make it cozy and soft. My love bought me a really cozy blanket as well. I tried to make it as homey as possible…
Tried to smile a bit, but it was all chaos inside of me…
Once I found myself be able to focus a little bit longer, I folded several paper cranes, which I decorated my room with.
I spent many hours in this spot (once I was allowed to go outside together with a nurse). After about 2 months I was able to go out by myself for some time in between meals, and this is where you could find me then.
For you who might read this and are going through a similar situation; Don’t give up, keep fighting. It’s worth it.
Me, nowadays – a way more healthy, and happy Lina!
[…] month, my love celebrated her one year life anniversary – it was one year since she was put in the hospital […]