Friday – Saturday – Sunday

October 5, 2015


Thought of sharing a little summary of the weekend, since I wasn’t really looking forward to it when Friday came along and I was gonna be by myself. I even told my nurse that all I wanted was to lay down in bed and wake up on Monday again. Yes, that’s how I felt about it all. BUT I have to say that the weekend turned out to be way better than I expected and I’m gonna give myself credit for that! Lina vs. eating disorder, 1-0. Bam.

I actually cancelled my little plan for Friday night, which was to hang out with my cousin. I was so tired after my first week of treatment so I decided to just be by myself at home. It wasn’t that great at all, though, with a lot of anxiety and crap. But I made it through, watched the Swedish Idol, and went to bed in decent time. Zola was really sweet and laid on me when I was falling a sleep (she is in a phase where she’s not hanging out in bed so it was pretty huge that she did that)! She probably felt how I was feeling.

I woke up and decided to clean the whole apartment, which took a while. Afterwards, I read blogs, and sat by the computer for a while. Since I had canceled my plans on Friday, my cousin and I decided to see each other on Saturday instead, so she came by and had coffee with me in the afternoon and stayed for some hours. It was really cozy to just be together and chat. She left around 6.30pm, and at 7.30pm, my sister-in-law came by, and later on our friend as well, and the three of us headed to a party. YES! I’d been invited to this party for some weeks now, and was freaking out about it a lot to be honest. However, I discussed and planned it with my nurse on Friday morning, just to make it as safe as possible for me to go if I decided to. With some encouragement from my sister-in-law, I decided to go and I’m SO GLAD I did. They were all so so so sweet, I had a great time, and didn’t come home until pretty late!

Slept pretty long due to Saturday night’s adventure, got up, and made plans with my cousin again. It’s so important to me right now to have some plans every now and then, otherwise I’ll just stay home and get even more anti-social and anxious about being out. So around 1pm, we met up with our bikes, and headed out to a store where she was gonna buy shoes, and then we headed over to IKEA and I did some minor shopping. I just stayed home the rest of the day due to exhaustion, with the exception to go and meet up Liz at the train station when she came back to town! So glad she’s home again and everything is back to normal.

I have to say that I think I did pretty good on the social parts during the weekend. There are some other things that didn’t really work out that great, but that’s another story, and something I have to deal with this week.

Such a Music Genius

October 4, 2015

Laleh ♥

She performed at the gala for collecting money for all refugees, called “Hela Sverige Skramlar”, that was shown on TV this past week. She ended the show by singing, a capella, for a full arena. Magical.

The Weekend

October 3, 2015


It’s Saturday morning. Something I used to enjoy, and still do sometimes, but this weekend is hard. Really tough to be honest. I feel like I’m being challenged way too much and too soon, than I’m ready for. I’m in fact home alone (well, Zola is here of course, which is actually pretty awesome, she’s such a good cat) this weekend since Liz is starting her new class, which you can read more about here on her blog. However, there’s no way I wanted her to skip this, and I’m so unbelievably happy and excited for my wife following her dream!

I tried to make some plans with some people this weekend. I truly tried, but haven’t heard from them anything more (yet), since last time I contacted them, so I take it as a sign that they have other plans – probably more fun than hanging out with me anyway, to be honest. If you happen to read this, don’t feel bad about it. Ok. I have also cancelled and rescheduled a few things this weekend, because I have no energy (or the eating disorder told me to…or it could perhaps be both reasons). One would think you get more energy with the food I’m eating at treatment, which I get, but the body is also working hard taking care of it, and therefore I get tired.

I just feel like a piece of shit right now to be honest and I don’t ever wish anyone to ever deal with an eating disorder because it’s hell and not a life to live at all. Yet, here I’m stuck again, in this monster. But I have a fantastic main contact nurse (thank goodness for her!!), a great day treatment group, and I’m lucky to be able to get this help right now in life. Now it’s “just” to take this fight every d*mn meal, every day, every week, every month…

That’s all for now. I don’t really have anything fun to add to this rather depressed post. Oh, I do have one thing! I’m gonna drink coffee with my wonderful cousin later on today, that’s making me smile, and warming my heart. Love and credit to her for wanting to be with me ♥.

Banana Pancake

October 2, 2015

Not too long ago, I tried, for me, something new. It’s been pretty hyped-up for a long time here in Sweden, but I hadn’t gotten my way around to test it out until a couple of weeks ago. Banana pancakes it is. You take one banana, one egg, mix it, and fry it. I also added some vanilla powder in mine, and on top, I put cocoanut flakes and vanilla flavored “kvarg” (quark – a type of curd cheese). I thought it was yummy and a great substitute for regular pancakes that has flour in it, which I’m a bit sensitive to. Today’s tip for a snack, dessert, or whatever you prefer!

Banana Pancake

Banana Pancake

Make the best of now

October 1, 2015

Josefin och Vanja

I really enjoy listening to podcasts and have been stuck lately with various documentaries and criminal cases – both solved and unsolved. But, to balance all the sad and hard subjects, I’ve started listening to more of peppy, life-filled podcasts, and I thought of sharing the latest series I’ve been listening to. It’s in Swedish so might be hard for non-Swedish speaking blog readers to understand, but I highly recommend you to continue reading this post anyway!

As I said, this podcast is focusing on life subjects (decided on by their blog readers!)- episodes such as, living situations, career, anxiety, q&a, love, family, blog life, fall, fashion, make up, feel-good, travel, know, pretty much everything in life. Love it, especially because both of the two girls who are talking are so inspiring – Vanja Wikström (an entrepreneur) and Josefin Dahlberg (the chief editor).

In one of the podcasts, the Dream episode, Vanja and Josefin talked about their dreams; the ones they had as kids, but also their dreams for today. And one of the things they talked about was so freaking pepp for me to hear since it’s something I think a lot about.

For me, I have always focused on the past or focused on the future, but forgotten in some way about the present. I have always dreamt about a different time instead of really appreciating now.

Vanja said something so good.. Her goal is to enjoy everyday life. The absolute most important for her is a home, a relationship, work, and being around people she enjoys spending time with. That’s what life is all about. And I agree. Of course, going on vacation is fun, we’re gone for a little while, and have a wonderful time, but that’s not our everyday life.

I think this is the core of what life is about: being happy in our everyday life and not focusing every day and every moment on thinking about what’s past or what’s coming next. It’s not our life in a sense. You get it? That’s not where the main, deep deep focus needs to be in life. Because that’s not where we are the majority of our time in life. The important thing is to be in the present. Now.

I know that I have things that have happened in my past that I need to talk some about, and I will when I feel ready to. Of course, we can also dream about trips, or stuff in the future, but we don’t have to dwell too much on the future either, because life is now. This, perhaps, might sound obvious for some of you, but for me, it has been a really good reminder, and something I’ll try to be aware of and focus on in life.


Do the best of where you are now. Make the best of where you are.

Make the best of your situation.


That’s what I’m gonna work on more from now on!

You can find all the podcast episodes here.

Vanja’s blog

Josefin’s blog


September 30, 2015

I love and have always loved pens and pencils! There’s something that’s just makes me excited when I see them. So colorful and so creative-focused. I do own a few various brands, which all have different uses. These are all of the different brands I have at home right now (actually, that’s not true, I realized I have some more, but I had already taken pictures of these and added them to this post when I realized that). Oh, well. Not a biggie.


First out are my beloved Stabile pens, which is a German brand established in the early 60’s. You can find these fibre-tip pens pretty much everywhere in the world. I have used these for school, for coloring, for general notes and letters, and to just make things I write down prettier. I have only the thinner ones, but they do exist in thicker tips as well. Check out the Stabile website here.



Second out is the Staedler fibre-tip pens which also have an ergonomic triangular shape, and they come, as the Stabile pens, from Germany. Germans are good when it comes to pens and other office stuff. When I spent summers in Germany as a kid and teenager, I loved checking out the fall school supplies that came out in stores there, since it was all so much, such variety, and also different from Sweden’s supplies.

Side story: One German tradition is to give the kids who’s starting first grade, a “Schultüte” (which is a big coned styled package, filled with school stuff and usually some candy). I google searched it and you can check it out some examples, here. I got one from our German friends when I started school, as did my siblings. And when I was living in Germany for a while and attended high school there, I got another one, (a smaller one, that was more symbolic since I was starting school for the first time in Germany), from the same family who I also stayed with then.



Sharpies are pretty famous in the States, but perhaps not as familiar in Europe. However, I do believe they’re more and more available here now. I know there are pen stores here in Sweden selling them, of course it’s like three times more than what you pay for them in the states. There are so many different ones but I have the Fine Points and the Ultra Fine Points. I also have the Retractable Fine Point Permanent Marker and some gold and silver ones. You can check them out more, here.




Pro markers were founded in London in late 1959 – I love the long history of all the pens! You can check them out more, here. The letterset website, linked here before, has also plenty of tutorials on their website, which can be good if you’re new to using Promarkers. I’ve done a few things with them, but then haven’t taken the time to really learn more about how they work, but I’m thinking that this fall, will be a great time for me to get into them again. The cool thing with Promarkers is that you use a blender, which, as it sounds like, blend the colors together so you can get various shade of a color, blending one color into another color or shade. This means that you can get a whole lot of different shades and colors with these ones. I have set 1, set 2, and skin tones 1, plus some blenders. Each pen has a thinner and a thicker side and each color has also its own name too, such as, Cinnamon, Sunkissed Pink, and Lemon, which will help you to separate the ones you have with the ones you might want to have.



This is what the different ones in the shade of blue, looks like.



Just wanted to share with you my little passion for pens! And give you some tips/info, in case you’re a pen and pencil nerd like me. How do you feel about office supplies? Do they get you all excited like they do me?!

First day of treatment

September 29, 2015


Just as light can shine from this lamp we have hanging by our desk, light will come back to my life soon, I hope. Today, I’ve spent my first day at the day treatment at the hospital here in town. It’s been overwhelming, tough at times (or all the time), but I know that’s when Lina is fighting hard to not let the sickness take over completely. This will be good. This will help Lina to come back to life, to take over again, and then hopefully a big piece in my life puzzle will be found, placed, and at peace. And things will be sorted out better in my life. I totally trust my main caregiver/nurse. It feels like we have a good connection, and that she will be a great support in this process of getting healthy, to get back to a life again. The group seems to be great as well. Such heroes, all of them, in my eyes. ♥

Blogs I read

September 28, 2015

I read blogs everyday, and mainly blogs about everyday life, pretty things, and blogs with good photos and posts where you can tell there’s work behind it. I thought of sharing a few of them here so lets check them out!

Liz →

Liz is my wife and she blogs about life – spirituality, her own everyday life, meditation, work, holidays, her life as an expat (she’s an American living in Sweden), and she takes amazing pictures. I like her blog for the good quality of pictures and that, since we’re living our lives together, my life is also partly documented through beautiful texts and photos. I’m really thankful for that.



Julia →

Julia is my cousin and has been blogging for many years now. I like the variety of subjects of her posts, but they’re mainly a document of her life – what she’s eating, what she’s doing, fashion, photography, concerts/music, and her creative side – making so many diy-projects which is so inspiring. Her pictures are always beautifully taken.



Sandra →

Sandra, I don’t know personally, but what I like with her blog is that she was born the same year I was, 1984, and therefore, I can relate so good to some of her texts and photos back in the days. I like to read about her interior projects in her apartment in Stockholm, her visits abroad (LOVE reading about her New York City visits – she used to live there). She’s also an author and writes beautifully about pretty much everything. Good and inspiring food tips as well.



Flora →

Flora is in her early twenties and is a really creative girl – she takes pictures, illustrates, and always has some projects going on. She also creates tutorials and takes beautiful pictures. Flora is also going to San Fransisco soon, and will stay there for three months. Since it’s a dream of mine to go there, I can’t wait to see it through her lens and texts.



Kat →

Kat is my American cousin (she’s Liz’s cousin from the beginning), and she has just started her blog since her move to Paris! We can’t wait to visit her there, but also show her where we live, and the surrounding areas, such as Stockholm. She writes really good, I think, and I can’t wait to follow her everyday life in Paris. If you would like to read an American’s view and experiences in Paris, here it is.



Nicole →

Nicole is Swiss, but married an Irish guy and they now live in Ireland. They just moved out from their downtown apartment in Dublin, to a house in the country, where they also can have their horses. They have also just given birth to a son, and we’re dying to meet him, see their new place, and just hang out all together again. Glad she has started blogging again after a break for some months!



Paige →

Paige is a friend of mine in the States and her passion for traveling is just making my travel nerve itch even more. Even though this isn’t really a regular day to day blog where she blogs about her life, I enjoy checking in here to see what her latest trip was like. This is a travel focused-blog and as of right now, she writes about her trip to Southeast Asia that she took in March-June this year.



Beata →

Beata is a really creative girl (seeing a pattern here about the blogs I enjoy reading – the creative ones! Hehe). But she truly creates so much from anything! She also writes about her everyday life, field trips, family with all her siblings, cooks interesting Asian food, takes good pictures, and writes openly about her anxiety, to just mention a few things.



Sophie →

As Sophie says herself on her blog, it’s a creative lifestyle blog, where she also takes amazing pictures, display stuff cool, writes about having your own business, and is basically inspiring in all kind of ways.



Beata →

Beata lives in my hometown, is my age, and has just moved to a big house out in the country. She takes pictures of, what I think, the beautiful house, and all decoration/interior that comes with that.



Tomorrow is the day

September 27, 2015


My look when we went out to celebrate Liz’s birthday last Thursday

The start of the day treatment was moved a week back due to kitchen renovations at the hospital. This means that tomorrow, Monday, will be my first day there and I’m freaked out, thankful, and I don’t know what..but that’s ok. Gotta feel what I feel and not shut the emotions off. Easier said than done. I’ve been at the clinic a few times, though, these past weeks, met with some caregivers, some other girls in the day treatment group, and some other faces. Feels good to have a better, or a little bit more of a picture of it all, before I start.

Things are rolling here, not really that great to be honest, but I’m trying to challenge myself, and I do have some ideas in order to motivate me even more when it comes to this everyday long fight that’s coming up (lately, the eating disorder has steered everything pretty much…but it’s mostly gonna be over from Monday and forwards, with help of professionals, which feels good and really scary and stressful at the same time..but I need it). But more about that another day.

Hope you’ll have a great start of the week!

Thursday through my camera

September 26, 2015

So this past Thursday, the 24th to be exact, was Liz’s b-day. Let’s check out what we did!


Birthday tray


Started off with breakfast in bed (blueberry American pancakes, coffee, juice) and gifts!

Liz & gft

A gift from Gesine in Berlin ♥

Liz & candle

Liz & gift


Cheers for the birthday girl!


Zola celebrated her mom in her own little way.

Liz walking

We hung out at home, Face-timed a friend and family in the States. Colored Liz’s hair, fixed our nails, and so on. It was pretty gray and rainy but once it cleared up a bit, we headed downtown.


We hung out at a bar first, before it was time for Liz’s surprise. She knew something was coming up but not where, when, and with who.


At 7pm I had reserved a table at this pretty new place in Uppsala, a wine bar.

Vendela & Erik

Vendela, my cousin, and her boyfriend, Erik, were there already, waiting on us.

Magda, Micke & Liz

Micke (my brother’s best friend who I also see as my extra big brother), my brother, Jonas, and his wife, Magda, showed up too.


We drank delicious wine, ate appetizers, and smørrebrød (fancier kind of sandwiches we decided to call it), and made plans to definitely come back, perhaps on a snowy day, and be all cozy inside, because it all felt really really cozy there. Sounds like a pretty good deal. It was, after all Thursday, a regular day, with work day for the majority of the crowd, the next day, so after some hours, we walked home, and I believe Liz was happy about her day.

Liz & Micke